Here's the Shocker

Omegle Interview #1

2009-10-09T19:12:00.004-06:00

Strangers on the internet can be wild and interesting. But for the most part they are just a bunch of perverted little 14 year old fuckheads. Either way the internet has a way to present and randomize such encounters, and the most random generator of this is omegle.com. It's basically a chat session with a randomly selected person, no way to tell who it is unless you ask. And like any good person in any form of media, I am going exploit this with an interview.

Omegle conversation log
2009-10-09
Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hii
You: Hello, I'm conducting an interview. May I ask a few simple questions?
Stranger: yea
You: Okay, first off, I need your age and gender
You: And no this is not an elaborate way to ask "asl".
Stranger: 21/m
You: Awesome, let's start
You: Which flavour of ice cream do you identify with the best?
Stranger: chocolate
You: Interesting. If you were a Beatle-Nazi combination, which would you be? (ie; Adolf Ringo, John Rommel ect.)
You: Pete Best counts but Mussolini doesn't
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Fuck the internet.

We've had Enough MJ, Fuck off

2009-09-29T22:19:00.005-06:00

Remember a few months ago whenever the word "Michael Jackson" was thrown into a conversation the phrases "weirdo", "one or two good songs" and "okay when he was black" were brought up? More importantly, remember when the very topic of Michael Jackson was reserved for conversations on pedophilia or botched plastic surgery? I miss those days.

Michael Jackson died early summer, and we are still having this poor MJ bullshit shoveled down our necks like jello into the world's fattest man. And we are gobbling it up like the world's fattest man eating a plate of jello. We are now forced to view the late Michael Jackson as nothing less of a god.

And it seems as though everyone is still mourning wacko jacko as countless magazines still have his prefucked-up face on it. And stores are thriving off of posters and other worship items. There is even a god damn movie made about him. And why?

Bcause people who don't know snakes from dildos about music will find any convenient way to know snakes from dildos about music. And one good strategy to create the illusion of knowing snakes from dildos about music is to say random shit that seems to be the public's consensus on a subject. Such as "Michael Jackson was a genius".

Yeah, sure Michael Jackson was good at what he did in his prime. But I honestly didn't care excessively much when he died. I found it mildly interesting, but Michael Jackson passed his prime a long time ago. The only interesting thing he did between his death and the 90's was molest children (don't give me the innocent shit, if I owned half the Beatles royalties I could buy my way out of murder if I wanted to) and gradually become creepier.

Yeah, Michael Jackson dying is sad, but seriously, it's been a whole summer of shovelling that bullshit into our daily lives, we're done giving a shit.

Now the interesting thing seems to be those sweet Beatles royalties.....

Sweet, sweet, royalties.....

September 12th: The Day That Fucked Up the 21st Century

2009-09-12T17:52:00.008-06:00

Everyone takes the time on September 11th to remember the day that your modern American first learned terror. But really, how did that change Western Society? A couple thousand innocent people died, a horrible thing yes, but which was worse, the actual attack on America or ability given to America to further it's stranglehold on the rest of the world?

Imperialism has a funny way of staying around for all these years. An idea that is constantly being rejected due to moral obligations has stayed alive and healthy. Healthy and fat. Is there much difference between what rich European countries expanding their empire using colonialism during the eighteenth century did and what America has been doing for the past 50 years?

The Cold War was a sketchy time for the West. An enemy with weird and wacky ways and an evil belief system was gaining more and more power. Struggle after struggle showed the American way the victor against the evil Russian ways. And the best part: there was no violent conflict involved.

Never mind.

The Cold War was fought out using puppets on both sides. A country would go through a socialist revolution supported by the USSR and resistance groups were then funded by the USA creating pro-America dictatorships. Like a giant popularity contest. After all, America did learn a valuable lesson from Vietnam: it's easier to give someone else the guns and do the fighting for you, rather than having to deal with those pesky UN regulations and hippies.

We will give peace a chance when we are damn well ready, Mr.Lennon

This way, America could still meddle with world affairs whilst making valuable, lifelong allies with those they support.

But time passes, crops fail, Ukrainian power plants blow up, relative freedom of speech is given to Soviet peoples and the Slavic empire is down for the count. But it's okay, they still have vodka. Was this the end for our empire juggling pal, Imperialism?

He used to be far more jolly back in the day

No, on an unsuspecting, sunny day in Mid September, 2001 someone totally fucked up on the whole "entering the 21st century without military imperialism (because it was more then healthy economically)". A couple thousand Americans gone, and the American government gained a longer leash. Not only could it invade any country it wanted under the "terrorist threat" (please see Saudia Arabia's involvement in 9/11 and Iraq's, well, lack of) but terrorists aren't protected as combatants, which isn't unjust, but it just makes it easier for America.

Starting up the Offense Engine

2009-09-09T17:03:00.000-06:00

So, it's been a while since I posted my last post. There's no way to put this other then bluntly, I have a life. It's what separates me from other Bloggers. Not to mention me being lazy. The only time I'm near a computer I don't usually feel like writing a lengthy rant or an interesting anecdote. Or I don't have an opinion to be stated, but right now I do. And it's an opinion that most probably won't want to hear.

Fuck atheism.

Now, people like to jump the gun. After all, happiness is a warm gun. So whenever such a statement has been made, even more childish statements like "are we expected to believe in an imaginary being" and other bollocks such as that. And I don't blame them, religion is a touchy subject. Even when brought on to people that claim to lack it.

Now, let's dissect my statement. "Fuck Atheism". First, I don't give a damn if you don't believe in God or a god or if you do. And I assume you wouldn't either. I don't care if you need a religion or not. Yet, somehow so many atheists feel the duty to make jabs at other people's beliefs or be dismissive dicks to everyone. Yes, every religion does this, but isn't one of the points atheists will argue against religion on how ignorant of other's beliefs religions (particularly Christianity) is?

And since when is atheism a religion? Everyone will argue that it's not, yet so many people will treat it like it is. And this isn't to every atheist, that would be ridiculous. Most people just live their lives without going to church, believing in a deity or accepting the Mormon's pamphlets. And you know what? They don't require the whole bloody world to know that they don't. They don't go around saying "Oh, you go to church? RETARD!", they go "oh, that's interesting,I'm not a part of any religion.". You know what that is called? Being a reasonable person to live with.

Now, I may seem harsh to atheists, but someone has to be. You rarely see a Christian win a scientific or logical debate with an atheist. That's because Christians have a 3000 year old book that's been mistranslated and edited for centuries, and atheists have ALL OF MODERN SCIENCE. But atheists who can debate and win choose to whenever they can to whoever they can, even when not appropriate. Of course, other religions are crude and ignorant when it comes to the idea of someone being different, and that's to be expected. Just don't bitch how ignorant they are whilst you inform everyone that there is no God because you say so.

Just one last thing on my mind, I don't want to go so in depth that this becomes a reoccurring theme until my blog is seen as some Right Wing agenda. Because it really isn't. I'm indifferent to ideologies, whether political or religious. I'm passive, but I can still call out dickhead when necessary. Atheists: stop bitching about religion being shown in public places. Honestly, if you bitch about a public manger during the holidays yet unwrap gifts under a Christmas tree, you are a cunt. Western society is largely Christian, it's been inbred into the culture. Get used to it or go eat dick.

Here's the Shocker likes Zombies

2009-09-09T16:51:00.000-06:00

Every dead blog tries to take a last gasp of air by having a post apologizing for not making more posts. This is not that post.

Here's the Shocker died. I am not going to deny that. I doubt anyone in their right mind still reads this. Whatever. But here at Here's the Shocker like zombies, so fuck you.

Drug Me

2009-06-20T20:00:00.000-06:00

With my observations in life, I have found when it comes to the the topic of legalizing recreational marijuana, there are three types of people. Those who support the idea whole hearted,
those who don't give a fuck and those who fondly believe that the very
legalization of marijuana would result in chaos. I fondly hold on to
the belief that legalizing marijuana could help give a much needed
boost to the economy, reduce crime and make cops slightly less
intimidating.

What arguments do we have against weed? Well, for starters;

It's Bad for You
Yeah, apparently everything bad for you should be illegal. Someone call the CEO of McDonald's.
What does weed do to damage your health? Apparently if you want to
damage your lungs you can only do so through a wholesome nicotine
addiction. And if you want to kill braincells you can only do such via
a few drinks. Seriously, people need to give up on the health issues,
we already do so much shit that damages our health that people even
find okay to give to kids. Do people consider the effects that those
energy drinks they let their kids use have on them? No, they like to
pick and choose their health issues based on bias.

It Would Increase Crime
They
say over 40% of the population has tried weed at some point in their
lifespan. Now, are all these 40% going on constant criminal rampages?
No. Let's say an otherwise lawabiding citizen got arrested and thrown in jail for possession
. Do you really think it's worth not only the money throwing them in
jail but do you think it's worth it to create another repeat offender?
If someone goes to jail it's almost aguarantee that they will join a gang to gain protection, it's just how it works. So why turn a functioning member of society into some hardened
criminal? Keeping weed illegal not only opens the door for people to
turn to crime after being arrested for it, but it also results in mass
gang wars. Do you think there would have been gangsters in the 20s if
there was no prohibition? Negative.

It would be Damaging to the Economy
Quite
the contrary. Imagine the huge amounts of profit that the illegal
marijuana trade generates. None of the government is getting their
hands on that (orat least legally). Know what they are doing instead?
Spending tax payer's money to do drug busts. So they are spending money
needlessly when they could be turning a major profit. Like, a huge
profit. Not only would there be the taxable income there would already
hypothetically be, but imagine the increase in sales if they legalized
it. It would create a new job market, and it'ssupposedly cheaper to get paper from marijuana then it is from trees. So it's a double win for hippies.

It Would Decrease Work Production
Honestly, how many people go to work drunk? Because the exact same argument could be made for making alcohol illegal. People can't seem to grasp on the idea of limitations.

People only use it as an Escape
This is actually going to be the focal point of my entry. The most valid and least debated argument. The argument
that people only use marijuana as an escape from their daily lives. If
this is a big enough need to be illegal, why the fuck do we have video
games? Video games are commonly used as escape from reality. Why do you
thinkMMORPGs are so popular? Some of the biggest anti-marijuana
advocates think it's acceptable for people to sit on their asses for
hours upon hours at a time and loosethemselves in a video game. At least with marijuana use you can go out and interact with other people.Video games are at their height of fun-ness whilst high anyways.

And really, what isn't just an escape from reality? Religion, television, music and even the Internet
can be used as escape from reality. I think the world would be better
off with less television, less religion, less technology altogether and
would be better with more weed.

I Find it Amusing When White People get Offeneded

2009-02-09T15:48:00.000-07:00

LINK

I know I haven't posted much lately, but you know what? Fuck you. Anyways, I might be a bit too late with the clip above but I just saw it now so It's all good (or at least in my mindset). Anyways, today's link deals with a touchy subject. A subject much worse then a lazy blog author. Or at least for white liberal (probably feminist) do-gooders. Racism.

Yes, racism is bad. Okay, I understand this. Some people find other people of a different race unlikeable, most likely because of a negative stereotype passed down or experienced. People become racist, shit happens. However, most "victims"[of racism] just shrug it off as some ignorant hick not worthy of his or her time. And they're probably right (but we all know that racists tell the best jokes. Don't deny it you dirty lying whore). However, some people cannot stand for such. They feel they must stand up for social justice and the psychedelic way. These people are the ones I referred to as "Liberal do-gooders". Who are incidental not of the race that's being discriminated against.

I find it ironic and semi-amusing that in the quest of great self righteousness they have reached great hypocrisy. Why? Because they are doing the same thing as racists. Here's an example.

Klansman Bob: Hey nigger
Black Joe: Oh, hello bob. Racist, drunk and inbred as always I see How's the kids?
Klansman Bob : Okay. No thanks to you, nigger
Black Joe: Even though your harmful words may have an impact on my pride and dignity, I will choose to ignore them as I am a financially successful individual and you have the immaturity to point out and exploit differences.
WhiteLiberalProbableFeministDoGooder: Back the fuck up, did you just say the "N" word? You can't do that! We should celebrate our differences, not discriminate against them. I am so offended.
Black Joe: Well actually, I didn't feel that much different until you pointed it out. I am not offended though.
WhiteLiberalProbableFeministDoGooder: But the "N" word! He said the "N" word. He should be forbidden from saying it!

That's pretty much how it would go down. So yeah, in case my beautiful skit did not make the point it was supposed to, these white people who get more offended then the people who the offender intended to offend can be just as bad as a racist. Except a racist alienates people out of hate, liberal do-gooder does out of self-righteousness. There's something for you to swallow for today.

Also, don't let this be another case of irony where someone says "but it's not just white people who do this...". But it is. I'm sorry. White liberals anyways.

Stopped Caring About Obama a While ago

2009-01-18T13:12:00.000-07:00

I must be racist. I am not all that excited for Obama's inauguration. The novelty of the first black president has long lost it's flair. I know lots of people are saying what an accomplishment it is to elect the first black president, but I honestly stopped caring. It must be me, but I no longer see him as "the first black" anything and I just see him as Obama. Call me racist.

Sure, Obama's election is a huge accomplishment for the black community. I'm not going to even try to deny that. About 50 years ago they were unable to ride in anywhere but the back of bus. Now one's a president. However, Obama's election has opened a dark door for American politics. The people, essentially, are voting for a celebrity, not a politician. It's sad, really. Sure, maybe some voted for him because they believed in what he was saying and put complete trust in his "amazing" economic plan (I personally prefer Ron Paul's economics, or the Green Party's, but that's just me), but as a whole, America voted him in because he is a young black man.

You can deny it all you want. But the American public put all this trust into him because they thought he would be different. Why would he be different? Because he is a young(ish) black(ish) man as opposed to some old rich white guy (which is the collective evil amongst working people). In essence, he didn't fit into a cliche so the American public trusts him. That's the very thing that the Democrats wanted. Good strategy on their part, I suppose.

And the fact that all these people are relying their hopes and dreams on this man is sad, to say the least. Black or white, young or old, politicians in general are all the same. As far as I see it, Obama's no different. Politics are greasy and corrupt. Maybe in the long run Obama will be different, but as of now I see another Clinton administration.

I Wish I was Cool Enough to Wear Headphones Around my Neck

2009-01-14T21:30:00.000-07:00

If only I was cool enough to wear a set of big fucking head phones around my neck. I mean, really, ear buds are uncomfortable enough, by headphones are a bitch to carry around. And I know for a fact I'm defiantly not hip enough to wear them around my neck.

Remember the days when the only people who wore headphones around their necks were people listening to reggae? I think reggae is only enjoyable through big ass headphones, you want reggae that you can listen to through ear buds you'll just have to settle for ska.

But nowadays, fuck reggae, you can listen to any genre of music through headphones and still look hip, because they got motherfucking skulls now. Nothing says "I'm a definite bad ass " quite like skulls. I mean, skulls are serious fucking business. Plus they just state "Fuck reggae, I'm here for metal/emo/hardcore/[fake]punk.". And they make you look musically literate. To show that you are listening to something that's more in depth thenMTV shit.

In fact, I'm going to buy me some headphones right now to show how musically in depth I am. Take that society, trying to get me to settle with ear buds.

Prince Harry is a Fucking Cunt

2009-01-12T15:18:00.000-07:00

I hate seeing Prince Harry's god damn ginger face on the television. Even if it's put in a negative light. He deserves negative light. I hate them trying to make him look like a war hero. He's not, he's some little rich kid who wants medals to wear so he looks like this big war hero. There's people out there actually fighting and the media is focused around brave little Harry. It's disgusting.

First of all, this is blown way out of proportion. Soldiers swear, cuss and call each other paki's or "rag heads". Actually, all males under the age of 30 swear, cuss and call each other politically incorrect terms. It's part of not being a pussy. The media should shut the hell up and concentrate on more important things such as economic recession or, i dunno, a possible holy war between Israel and the Arab world. But no, the entire commonwealth must concentrate on the shenanigans of ginger McGee playing soldier. That's right, we all have to hold our breath for the royal wanker.

Second of all, Prince Harry shouldn't be in the army. It's unnecessary. His job is not a soldier, his job is to provide stories for slummy tabloids and bloggers. There are already people to fight wars. They are called soldiers. And most of them are competent. Harry is just needlessly putting his squad in danger by being a target. Know how many terrorists would love to kidnap the over privileged little prick? If I was a terrorist I would personally love to. Only downside is the tabloids and newspapers would display him as a hero. Bravely getting captured for king and country.

Personally, I think Harry has been playing army man for too long. He should stick to getting piss drunk and dressing as a Nazi. I think he would make a lot better Nazi then a British army officer, the Germans should have kept him. Third Reich and British Crown do share a few similarities, after all.

You're Not Free

2009-01-11T01:12:00.000-07:00

No matter what, you are not free. People own you. You are born, you get educated to work, you work you die. It's a cycle. No freedom.

Just a reminder.

2012 is Bullshit and You're a Dumb Cunt

2009-01-08T22:49:00.000-07:00

I hate it when people say "You know, the world is supposed to end in 2012 because that's when the Mayan calender ends". Yes, I've known that for a while. Why? Mainly because after one doomsday threat focused around a specific date ends, they make a new one. Look at 2000. Y2K. Then they were like "2006 guys, serial". Then doomsday is postponed until another date so the whack ups and Internet conspiracy theorists can regroup.

Interesting thing about any calender: it has to end somewhere. I know you can't compare an astrological artifact to a simple flip paper calender, but it's the same idea: it has to end somewhere. The world doesn't end whenever the calender runs out of pages. That's just ridicules. But nothing gets alarmists off more then a doomsday with a set date. I mean, nuclear war, mass climate change and flu pandemic could happen practically any day. It's too unpredictable to even worry about. BUT, a specific date in which the world will end, now that's entertaining to worry about.

But really, the Mayans are laughing at us from beyond their graves.

Mayan 1: When should we make this bitch end?
Mayan 2: Let's sum it up at 2012 and call it a day.
Mayan 1: But what happens if the people in the future worry about it?
Mayan 2: Shut the fuck up, are you stupid? By then this calender will most likely be destroyed, and if not then advanced future people won't be big enough dick wads
Mayan 1: Oh
Mayan 2: My Sungod you're fucking daft. You think future people are big enough dip shits like you?
Mayan 1: Please don't shout. I don't like it when you shout
Mayan 2: You want me to shout? THIS IS SHOUTING!!!

Unfortunately Mayan 2 was incorrect. We are big enough dip shits.

Now, ancient domestic abuse isn't my area, but hey, in the face of Armageddon you have to have some sense of humour.

Damn Skippy I'm Evil, Get Used to it You Fundy Fuckheads

2009-01-05T23:35:00.000-07:00

I love fundamentalist Christians. Nothing makes me feel more bad ass then when someone calls me evil. Especially when I'm evil for not having similar lusts for a Christian jihad as them, not voting for a God fearing politician or enjoying any form of media that does not focus directly in God. So, of course it makes me smile seeing a overly Christian website try to be able to compete for kid's attention using flashy words such as "Rock" and "Video Games", but really has enough Christian overtones to give you diabetes.

Hey, so I'm evil. I support crazy satanic rituals such as supporting free religion, free speech and not being a fucking Christ humping clone. I enjoy such crazy satanic music such as Iggy Pop, the Ramones, Sex Pistols (oh, I forgot S*x Pistols, sex is a naughty naughty word), Clash (don't bother with your rights, it's a sin not to obey) and dare I say it, the Misfits? I'm not even going to get started with Dead Kennedys, their name is even a sin. Oh, I don't frequently go to church nor do I commit my life to Christ. Therefore I'm evil.

I suppose I like being evil. It doesn't take much either, nowadays you don't even need to belong to a different religion (I'm not stating my religion. I never said I'm a Christian, nor have I ever denied being one. I could be a Scientologist...... never mind, disregard the last). Seriously though, I used to have to sacrifice 5 virgins and a 3 week old Labrador puppy a week just to get a tiny bit of recognition for my dark practices. Now I just need to play Tetris (it serious condemns Tetris on the site I linked above. It turns you into a dirty nonreligious commie). I think I like being evil though. In fact, I'm going to be so evil that I am going to trigger Armageddon by playing Spore.

Seriously, if any fundies are reading this, then I just have to say this "Fuck you, what's wrong with a mind of my own?"

I'm Gonna Buy me Some Originality

2009-01-04T14:36:00.000-07:00

Now with 300% more sarcasm then normal!

Man, I wish I was dark and meaningful. I wish I was a non-conformist. I wish I could just try and buy myself into a subculture. I wish I was original to shop at Hot Topic. Yes, I just don't think I am original enough. Yet. Maybe I should buy me some originality at Hot Topic.

Yes, I think I'm tired of finding any originality within myself and now I'm going to look for it in manufactured goods that incorporate cliched subcultures, pop-culture trends and other assorted scene fashion. And really, what better place to look for this then my friendly neighbourhood Hot Topic? Hot Topic manufactures my originality based upon others so I don't have to think of it myself. Geese, easy and convenient? Plus, not only do I get to be unique, but I can also get me angst ridden 15 year old emo poon tang? Now that, is a bargain. A lot more then those conformist stores can give me.

And with all these pre-fabricated subcultures on how the mainstream, how can I choose? I mean, I could be goth, emo, scene, or even (pop)punk! Yeah, that's it! (Pop)punk! Screw all my '70s and '80s punk CDs, I'll only need that for when people accuse me of being a phony. While I'm at it, screw guitar. I'll only need that to make myself look more musical. I might invest in an acoustic while I'm at it. I don't need to worry about expressing my individuality by making or listening to music, I can do it by dressing differently then all you non-conformists. After all, Hot Topic's slogan is "Everything About the Music " (yeah, fuck you Fender and Gibson. No one needs guitars anymore, we have AC-DC t-shirts).

Also, I think I'm going to be funny and original and buy shirts that have pop-culture humour and exploit cult followings in hopes of making friends with those who do. Yeah, I will not only be deep, but share a sense of humour with like minded people. Yeah, funny and original. I'm so excited.

I'm really excited, I can't wait to be different then everyone else! Except, you know, all the other people doing the same.

(Yes, I already had a side rageabout the Watchmen sweater. I would invite you to join in, but this is only the beginning of the Watchmen merchandise. So say goodbye to Joker shirts and say hello to Comedian smiley face buttons)

Middle East is a Shithole

2009-01-02T18:31:00.000-07:00

I hate how the media is focusing on the protesters against Israel's action against the Hamas in the Gaza conflict. Protip: The Hamas, like every other religious fanatic group, are below dirt. Yet, in the eyes of the average liberal do-gooder, Israel is the monster and so is the United States for even being allied with such a horrid nation. Protip: Israel is probably the most civilised country in the Middle East. Israel is getting the blame for civilian casualties even though it is the Hamas who are using them as human shields.

Yet, as we all know, our media is beyond worrying about bias. But really, what's the point in even bothering. The whole Middle East is a shit hole and your average North American is too fat and ignorant to give a fuck about what's what (but not in the butt) in any world affairs. Know what the first thing to come out of your average Canadians mouth whenever another casualty in Afghanistan? "We need to pull out of Iraq, we should let America fight it's own war". Now, besides being geographically confused and confused about world affairs, this is the kind of dumb shit to come out of your average North American (and pretty much every other Westerner, Europe isn't excluded). But how is this relevant to the Middle East being a shithole?

Because from a North American's point of view, the Middle East is a lost cause and anything that happens there is irrelevant to cushy Western society (even though 9/11 was a pretty good reason to start paying more attention, but hey, whatever). So why bother even knowing anything about it? They don't bother. All they see is a big group attacking a smaller group and they automatically put the sympathy on the smaller group. Despite the fact that the smaller group are terrorists.

Now I'm not saying that everyone should automatically start focusing on the Middle East's affairs, because frankly, most of everyone are dumb fucks and should be left to pay attention to their mindless garbage media and electronic trinkets.

This Generation is Pretty Sad if it's Voice is a Rapper

2009-01-01T22:51:00.000-07:00

I may be beating a dead horse here. After all, Nov 13th is so last year. Literally. I mean, it's 2009, I already missed my chance to make fun of Kanye West for claiming to be the voice of this generation. Well fuck that.

"I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice," he said in an interview on Wednesday. "It's me settling into that position of just really accepting that it's one thing to say you want to do it and it's another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan."

Someone needs to get over himself. For starters; rap sucks ass. Nowadays all rap is the mass production of the gangster subculture to rich white kids. A long time ago it was something. It was the music of the streets. Back when rappers were real. Now rap is just a bunch of rich cunts making unoriginal fake sounding music geared towards ignorant jocks to make them feel tough. Seriously, that's all it is. They cruise around town blasting rap in the cars that their mommy and daddy bought them while occasionally smoking pot so they feel that they are living the true "thug life". Seriously: if you want to feel like you are living in the ghetto then huff paint. Hopefully you'll die.

"I'm just going through balancing that. And I always used to have that support system, you know. My mom would be there; no matter what, she was there before everything," he said. "We were together for like 30 years. And you know now when I'm on that stage and I look out and I say, 'What am I going to do with the rest of my life?' Like when does a real life start?' Because I have sacrificed real life to be a celebrity and to give this art to people, which is great. It is great that I was able to do that, I'm not trying to shun that in any way, but it's definitely a Catch-22 and it's bittersweet."

Not being able to live real life in order to be a celebrity? Boo-hoo. You barely work and you get shit loads of cash from cashing in on a fad. I pity you, I really do. And I like how he uses the term celebrity. Because he is no musician. He is a business man. Anyways, as for "the voice of this generation", " going down in history" and other assorted bullshit, the only thing history will remember him as is another corporate whore who gave what little musical freedom he had to a record label to manipulate to fit to growing masses of "wigger" or "wangster" kids.

Never Mind Sarah Palin, Here's Jello Biafra

2008-12-31T15:18:00.000-07:00

After comrade Obama won the election, there was two things most people did. If they were Democrat they masturbated to the likeness of their Fuhrer for life. If they were Republican they fondled themselves to the thought of Sarah Palin running for president in 2012. This angered many people because 1)They were tired of the election or 2)They were tired of hearing about Sarah Palin. Well never mind Sarah Palin, here's Jello Biafra.

Jello Biafra was the great frontman for one of the greatest punk rock bands the Dead Kennedys. He has been involved in politics since '79 when he ran for Mayor of San Francisco (for the shits and giggles). His political awareness fuelled the anti-both wing satirical lyrics that made the Dead Kennedys famous (that and Klaus Fluoride is an amazing bassist likewise East Bay Ray should be considered a God amongst punk rock guitarists, sell outs or not). After the Dead Kennedys dismembered (the real Dead Kennedys) , he released series of spoken word albums as well as collaborations with other bands including a country album with Mojo Nixon. He lost the Green Party's presidential nomination to Ralph Nader in 2000, 2004, and 2008. But. 2012 is wide open and he is a potential candidate.

Now, both sides of the whole "wing" spectrum are corrupt as shit. Conservatives and Republicans are known for being over religious, too deep in buttfuckery with huge corporations (*cough*oil*cough*), war mongering, social elitism and being oh so ready to take away freedom of speech. Now, Liberals and Democrats are known for being too politically correct, too socialist, being too passive, social elitism (ironically) and being oh so ready to take away freedom of speech AND the right bare arms (at least in America, Canada is already under gun control). Who better not to fall under these flaws then a man who has criticised them to no point?

So, in the same way as Liberal bloggers (still hate that word and concept) supported (to the best that a blog can anyways) Barack Obama in 2008, I will support Jello Biafra. Remember: there's always room for Jello.

Oh, and on the site it mentions Henry Rollins as his running mate. That is beyond awesome.

(Please Note: I will also be posting this on my punk rock blog as it involves punk rock. Don't think that I am just being lazy posting the same thing on two different blogs)

Broadcast Yourself. Or, You Know, Don't

2008-12-31T14:20:00.000-07:00

I hate what Youtube has become. Youtube only got famous because you used to be able to just sign up and put videos on it, then people watch them. Simple. You could watch pretty much any show on Youtube. That's how I found out about Robot Chicken (back before the novelty wore out). You used to be able to go there to watch video clips. Simple as that. Now though, all that Youtube is now is some kind of Internet scene full of camwhores, attention whores, home videos and people trying to be funny. I know I'm fighting a losing battle in which I'm out numbered. But Youtube sucks. Majorly. The only thing mildly entertaining to do on there anymore is watch music videos. Which will probably be also taken down due to copyright laws. That, and reading the video comments.

People who comment on Youtube videos are the dumbest and most useless cunts ever. Reading the arguments are laughable in themselves, particularly when the video has the slightest chance of involving politics, religion and well, America in general. The community that is Youtube video commenting is like a retarded mainstream version of 4chan's Random board. Which is saying something. The only thing that the video commenting is slightly useful for is telling the dumb cunts who do the video commentary/vlog bullshit that they are not funny. Which doesn't matter because there are enough people who think they are funny to balance it and encourage our little attention whore to keep filming themselves doing monologues commenting on their boring and unimportant lives.

Which reminds me; 99.9% of people who have their own "show" on Youtube are fucking dick weeds. Your life is not important enough to need commentary on. If you need to turn to the Internet to get people to pay attention to what you do, then you are a very sad person. Occasionally there will be one funny person, and then all these cunts with their unfunny shows will all gather round and circle jerk to the homage of this person. Hence, the creation of a scene. Beautiful, isn't it? This gives the mildly funny person a large ego and they think of themselves as a legend.

So. A summary. Just because you have a Web cam does not mean anyone gives a flying fuck about your opinion.

No Matter What You do With it, Poetry is Still Gay

2008-12-29T22:19:00.000-07:00

Poetry is gay. End of story. And don't say songs are poems, that's bullshit. Songs are lyrics sang to music. Which have the potential to not be gay (see Punk Rock or Metal). But poetry is gay. Seriously. No matter what you write a poem about, it doesn't make it any less gay.

And I'm not saying poetry doesn't take talent. It does. I'm just saying it's gay. Gay in both the sense of the slang "unpleasant" and in the true meaning of the word, "homosexual". Sure, poetry is an art. An art of opening your very soul, and then your soul menstruating. Sure, some poems may have "acceptable" (in my opinion) topics, but it still does not to make them any less gay. Want to know how to make them less gay? Get some actual talent and write music to it like a real artist, you emotional cunts. What do I have against poetry? Nothing, besides it being a gay art form. I mean, anyone can write. Look at me. I'm writing this and I have no interest in writing. In fact I consider myself as more of a musician then a writer. But what's this, I'm still writing? Not so deep and talented, now are you?

In short, I just wanted to piss all over the delusion of these people trying to look deep by being "poets". For example they'll post poetry on a blog or some journal website and more people eat it up like a retarded Labrador retriever eats a hooker's diarrhea (oh, bad simile. Maybe I should stick to music) in hopes they'll be their online friend. Yeah, DevianTartlet's, I see through your delusions. But they'll post it on these sites next to their profiles (which include music, to express themselves. Using other people's works) to try to look deep and emotional on the online community.

The online community can suck a cock. They aren't actually fans of you're shitty poetry, they just want to lick your butt hole (metaphorical butt hole) in hopes you'll return the favour. In short, this generation is becoming a bunch of emo pussies.

This Man is Bad Ass

2008-12-29T22:01:00.000-07:00

NEWS LINK

You always hear stories of people going above and beyond their duty. From soldiers, to policeman or firefighters to name a few. The stories that motivate you and leaves you with the though "Wow man, that was totally bad ass". This is one of the stories.

Pizza man got robbed. Didn't go back running to his mommy (AKA, the Dominoes restaurant) or even to report it. This man finished his job, pizza delivery. Bad ass. Never mind getting robbed. Does this man care? No, you know what he cares about? Delivering mother fucking delicious dominoes pizza to a hungry or to a semi-hungry family. Or even to a fat family who just needs a snack(you have to remember it's America, not everyone eats for the sake of feeding themselves).

No, this man knew his role in society. He knew it involved delivering pizza and not running to the cops like a little chickenshit. I salute you, brave pizza deliveryman. You are truly what keeps America running (fuck Dunkin' Donuts).

Fuck Multiculturalism

2008-12-14T21:33:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a bit since I've posted. I haven't had the motivation. That's a personal problem though. My current motivation is to say this: Multiculturalism is the biggest load of liberal bullshit to ever be slapped across the face of Canadian society. The term "multiculturalism" is being jabbed into our schools. They want children to recognise every one's culture as a contribution into Canadian society. No matter how small.

I know, ideally it sounds good. Bring every one's culture into Canada to show how many different people make up Canada. That way no one can complain. Ideally. However, ideals never work in full. So, while people are supposed to look at Canada as a wonderful collage of many images, all that happens is people get lost in the process. Everyone is divided into " (insert random ethnicity here) Canadians" as opposed to just "Canadian".

So instead of teachers teaching students to look at Canada as a whole, they make them look at Canada as a large variety of people all coming together in the world. Which makes me want to say this following message to all teaching institutes:

"Dear political correct drones, just because people have immigrated from a country, doesn't mean that the country in question has had any significant role in the development of Canada."

That's right, how dare I imply that Jamaica has had little impact on Canadian history, culture or arts compared to parent nations such as France or Britain, large historical immigration such as China, Ireland or the Ukraine or even neighbouring country the United States. Or, dare I say, Canada itself.

Multiculturalism is bullshit. We should not commemorate alien cultures above our own in the schools. Or art. This is Canada, not the UN so suck it you politically correct liberal Nazis.

RIP Canadian Democracy

2008-12-02T18:20:00.000-07:00

Democracy in Canada is dead. The Liberals, New Democrats and Bloc Quebecois are disrespecting the wishes of the Canadian peoples and taking control away from not only the Conservative party, but the wishes of the Canadian public. If Canada wanted Dion as Prime Minister, they would have, I don't know, voted him in. But they didn't.

The coalition party is undemocratic and unCanadian. They are ignoring the choice of the voters and instituting their own whims for the sake of power. You don't need to like Stephen Harper to be against the Coalition. Canada is about the peoples, not the government. The people decided on Stephen Harper, and it should be that simple.

Canadian Democracy is dead. We no longer have control over who is in charge of our own country. We had the choice, the outcome was Stephen Harper and the Conservatives. But this is not satisfactory for the other parties. No, funding has been cut from them. And even at the brink of financial crisis that's not acceptable. After all, do they really care about the politics. If they cared about the Canadian peoples they would have kept their desire in mind. So, Canada may be going down the tubes, but who cares, as long as everyone makes a quick buck and receives the benefits of power.

No, it's all about the money. No regard for the say of the Canadian peoples. This is the governments decision, not ours. But don't worry, Dion won't be the next prime minister of Canada. He will be the dictator, plain and simple. And I want no part of it.

HA-HA, the Birth Date of Your Messiah is Being Corporately Exploited

2008-12-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

Christmas is the biggest scam to ever hit Christianity or capitalism. The origins of Christmas themselves are debatable, there is nothing to suggest that December 25th was the birthday of Jesus in the Bible. Now, this could be just because it wasn't of religious interest, but they didn't record birth dates back then. Or, never mind the story of Christmas itself implies it partook in spring. Or how Christmas was conveniently placed around the same time as the Pagan's Winter Solstice whilst Christianity was still battling it out for the main Religion of Europe. Let's just ignore all the historical facts that shoot down December 25th as the birthday of the Christian Messiah for a second.

Let us pretend, just for a second, that Christmas is actually about Christ. How does our society celebrate their (supposed) salvation? By doing what members of a capitalist system do best: consume. We have mass consumption of entertainment products such as toys and electronics. We have mass consumption of rich and expensive foods. And you know what? It's our obligation as persons of a family-value orientated civilizations. We all hate Christmas. But we still all partake in it. Why? Because it's pretty much a taboo not to.

Say a child is not brought up in a family that celebrates Christmas. What is the first thought of most people? That the child is being denied of cherished family traditions. Poor child. Not being taught the basics of our cherished capitalist society; to spend, to buy, and consume even when not necessary for daily life. They are not taught to be self centered. I mean, have you seen the Walmart commercials. Mother picks up Walmart flyer that has pictures cut out of them. Father says "honey, have you seen their wish list" whilst holding a glittery piece of shit and she looks at the Walmart with shitloads of holes and them and goes "yes". And the question that pops up in all of our minds: is this supposed to be cute? I mean, are they serious? The children are asking for everything in the Walmart flyer, how is this supposed to represent the birth of your God-damn messiah?

No, Christmas has no real meaning. A lot of people say it's time to spend with loved ones. Loved ones? I get shoved under the same roof as the rest of my dysfunctional family and this is called love? We are required to buy presents as a social norm, even to those who we don't love. It's an orgy of consumerism for relatives who we don't feel any emotional attachment to. Yay!

But any real ideal of Christmas has been exploited. From family values to the religious meaning itself, any real ideas are gone and have been replaced by a mass circle-jerk of capitalist exploitation.

Bindi the Jungle Girl is Pure EVIL

2008-11-29T23:33:00.000-07:00

Bindi the Jungle Girl is the spawn of Satan. If by Satan you mean deceased animal-pisser-offer Steve Irwin. But really, does society miss the croc hunter enough to idolise his daughter? If there is a God, then no. Because Bindi Irwin is the anti-Christ and must be stopped.Yes, somewhere between the goon-like facial expressions, annoying singing, and creepy use of animals, there is something sinister about this horrid child.

For anyone who has the opportunity to watch daytime children's programs (stoners), you may or may not be familiar with Bindi the Jungle Girl (mostly likely not, it's on Discovery Kids that network is boring as shit, if you want to watch some serious entertaining kids shows I recommend the Cartoon Network or Teletoon Retro). Basically, it's this creepy little girl with an Australian accent teaching you (er, kids) about animals whilst singing and cutting to clips of deceased father, Steve Irwin.

Now, it goes without saying that Bindi only got publicity due to her father. That's obvious. Whether her father even deserved fame is the only real question. I mean, why did people view his tv show? Because he was some Australian with a funny accent pissing off dangerous animals. Half the viewing audience probably hoped he would get killed on camera. Contrary to tributes to Steve, the world didn't turn to him to learn about animals. They turned to him to do stupid shit. So it's only normal that at least one of those animals would finally get to him. It's only really surprising that it was a flat, placid fish. But, what is meant to be is meant to be.

And that child having her own TV show was not meant to be. I mean, I don't want to be rude, but that is the scariest looking child ever created. It looks like it crawled straight out of the Australian wilderness. Like, ironically, anybody who claims that Bindi Irwin is "adorable" is on crack (which is ironic considering the potential audience). I mean, I sound superficial, but that is one scary fucking child. Like a little demon.

Bindi Irwin is a demon. She looks like it. She has her own TV show, it could just be a means of controlling the masses of the next generation. So beware stoners and concerned parents. : if your child tries to get you to watch Bindi the Jungle Girl, slap the stupid out of them. They'll thank you later.

That Man Loves His Crayons

2008-11-26T16:55:00.000-07:00

CNN

No, the title of that news article does not mean that a teacher used a crayon as a weapon. I thought that too and was mildly disappointed. Only mildly though. A teacher shaking the daylight out of and hitting a child is still a note worthy story.

However, I can imagine what everyone is thinking. Something along the lines of "Degrading of morals","What was he thinking" or "SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN". Everyone will be shocked and horrified about what a horrible, horrible man the teacher is. But is the teacher really a horrible man? I say no.

He just really loves his crayons. Which isn't a surprise. Art teachers are supposed to be "interesting" people. Interesting to the point of batshit insane. And crayons are the staple of his career. The man just really loves crayons and the little shit broke his educational tool. Is it so wrong to defend his crayons? Is it?

This is America. Or, there is America. This is Canada. So this is Canada, there is America. And there is where the teacher smacked up the kid for breaking his crayons. And there, there is freedom. The freedom to protect your belongings from grubby little children whom want to destroy them and everything you believe in. Sure, they may have a value of $1.89, but if a man is not free to protect his stationary, whats next? His family? The very kid he smacked up? What about his freedom? If America isn't about freedom, I don't know what the fuck it is about.

When the Commies invade America, and the hippies protest Canada backing America, who will fight back? Europe? Hell no. "Friendly" Middle East? Fuck no. High schoolers in Colorado? That's the plot to Red Dawn. And we all know how that end, most of them die. And Barack Obama would probably do shit all. In fact, he would probably give them all high fives (yeah, I implied Obama is a Commie, so go fuck yourself you elitist Liberals) .

No, when the Commies invade, only one man would have the nads to save us. Er, them. David Adam Grant. But he would be in jail for child abuse. We're all doomed. Or, at least America is.

Liberals are Just Wimpy Communists

2008-11-20T23:18:00.000-07:00

No sugar coating it here people. Liberalism is the pussy equivalent version of Communism. The main difference being Commies actually have the nads to prosecute, Liberals just bitch and moan.

But really, actions speak louder then words. Or facebook groups speak louder then blog entries. Thus, I shall present my political satire in the form of an easy to swallow medium, a facebook group.

Liberals are Just Wimpy Communists

Nihilism

2008-11-18T21:18:00.000-07:00

The educational system is rushing kids into adulthood. They encourage everyone to have an idea of what they want to do for the rest of their life by Grade 10. So they can take the courses necessary so that they fit into the job just like that. Just snap into society like a Lego set.

They expect people to map out their career by the time they are 16. No time to just enjoy life. It's serious business from here on. And let's face it: the faster we fit into society, the better. The educational systems point out how basic and cubular our society and our lives really are. So the sooner we are useful society, the sooner we are making a comfortable paycheck, the sooner we settle down. They don't want people to live their lives, they want people to be useful, functioning members of society. Just BAM. The walls start closing in tighter and faster.

And really, isn't life futile. I mean, what do we strive for. They encourage us to make career choices at a relatively early age so we can settle down sooner and live comfortably sooner. They just want to get you to the point where you can start working sooner. They want you to just shut up, sit down, and start working. But they give you a choice in high school. A choice you may or may not notice.

You can either 1)work hard in school now and have the comfortable career of your choice or 2)have your fun now because after graduation it's "sit down, shut up, and start working". And people who choose #2 may not realise this. Or they might not be made for school. It just means they get paid less for harder work. The people who choose #1 are just as herded as all the other sheep. Only difference is they see where it ends and how to get there. You are still being herded into the inedible of mindless work for some huge corporation, only difference is your corporate ladder is higher.

And so we come to the realisation that we are all puppets. In some kind of pointless puppet show with winners and losers. We have no control. If you want to belong, you will participate. Winner or loser, you still have to participate in a lifetime of usefullness to society. So go ahead, play along all you want, your strings will be set and dangled until you are no longer useful. Then you die.Thus is life.

And remember: It doesn't matter what you do, it's pointless either way.

Return of the Beehive

2008-11-15T17:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a few weeks since the election. I am pretty sure we have all come to terms with the upcoming Obama presidency south of the border. However, the one thing I hoped to die, wouldn't die. The media focus on Sarah Palin.

Obviously, what do the defeated Republicans have better to do then mope, compare Barack Obama to Adolf Hitler and blame Bush? Look forward towards towards the 2012 elections. Yay! Just what the world needs, more political bullshit to be sweltering amongst popular media. The world has bigger needs then to worry about the 2012 elections. Especially if the 2012 election involves Sarah Palin.

Really, isn't one ruined Republican campaign enough for her? If she actually wanted to do her party good she would have dropped as vice and let someone more experienced and less, well, batshit insane to take her place. Instead she ruined McCain's run for presidency and made a mockery of conservatism worldwide. I mean, I am sick of seeing Canadian newspapers comparing Stephen Harper to Sarah Palin. Palin provides a mold for everything wrong with conservatism.

I think it's safe to say that she is worse then Bush. Don't get me wrong, George Bush will probably go down as the "worst" president in American history. Although it really isn't entirely his fault for all the shit that went down under his power. Bush may be a bit of a buffoon, but I would still take him over Sarah Palin any day. Children praying in school, anyone?

Karma's a Bitch

2008-11-15T16:31:00.000-07:00

CNN

White supremacists are funny. Especially when they try to make themselves look like the victim. Two white supremacists who were planning on assassinating Obama and then going on a black killing spree want their indictment thrown out because there were "too many blacks on trial".

I find this amusing actually. They would have gotten the same treatment even if it was an all white trial. Generally most people wouldn't be so kind to two people who planned on killing a presidential nominee (this was before the election) and then going on a killing spree to kill 100 people. Black or white.

Really, I don't think racial cleansing sits well with anyone. Having a mostly black trial was probably just the cherry on top of their shit sundae.

How Dare She!

2008-11-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

News Story

So apparently the Communist party of St.Petersburg is upset with Olga Kurylenko, a Ukrainian actress, for her role in a James Bond movie. Now, I find it disturbing how the Communist party is the second largest political party in St.Petersburg. No shitting. But that's another rant for another day.

Now, what angers me is (I will say this without a bias as much as I can) that these filthy commies have the nads to criticize western movies and label them as "anti-Soviet propaganda". They did this with the new Indiana Jones movie too. The Soviets were a generic villain. It's not like they said "capitalism is good, communism is evil". They just set up the Soviets as a generic Indy enemy. Whoopdey doo. You don't hear the neo-Nazis bitching about the old Indiana Jones. And the whole, James Bond a "capitalist puppet" or whatever generic hippy slang they used. WTF. What are they supposed to do? "Okay guys, we want to make an enemy for James Bond. But we don't want to make the commies upset".

Now, the biggest amount of bullshit is that the Communist party tried to guilt trip her. From their own words: "The Soviet Union educated you, cared for you and brought you up for free but no one suspected that you would commit this act of intellectual and moral betrayal." or "to show that a Ukrainian girl sleeps with an American. It's a part of information and psychological war." Since when did the Communists ever care about the Ukrainians?

Anyone care to look back at the 1930's? Famine in Ukraine purposely caused by the Soviet Communist party? Anyone care to think back on not only how Stalin banned the public use of the Ukrainian language and was particularly harsh on Ukrainian citizens, but how he took all the wheat from the Ukraine to sell on foreign markets to provide income to industrialise and militarise leaving millions of Ukrainians to starve? No! Because the Commies only want us to reflect and look back on how they cared for them, educated them and feed them. Not for us to realise that by caring them meant sent to forced labour camps. Not for us to realise that the education was used to brainwash. Not for us to realise that the Ukraine was being oppressed and starved.

So I say this not only as an anti-Communist, but of someone of Ukrainian heritage and decent: Fuck Communism, fuck the Soviet Union and fuck "the wedge between the Russian and Ukrainian peoples". That wedge was driven a long time ago during the genocide and is not coming out for a while.

How to be an Individual

2008-11-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

Today's society calls for a level of conformity. But let's face it society is going down the tubes. You don't want to. So now it's time to be an individual. To stand out in the crowd, to be different. So here we go. How to be an individual in today's society.

Step 1

You need to identify yourself as part of a cliched subculture. You need to adopt the fashion and music and claim it's a "lifestyle". You don't need to know shit about it. I mean, really, as long as you look like an individual, does it really matter if you know what the subculture even stands for. Say, the origins of emo. Or the purpose of goth. Or here's a good one, what's actual punk music. You don't need to know any of this though. As long as you look the part (or at least you think you do).

Step 2

Okay, you figured out your subculture. You know what MTV says it looks like, you know what clothes your supposed to wear and how your required to look. Now it's time to showcase this. Start showcasing the bands that MTV or Much labels under the subculture. Wear the band t-shirts. Let the whole world know that you are an individual by conforming to a group of different people.

Step 3

You've decided your subculture. You flaunted it. Now you have to defend it. This takes some homework though. A quick trip to the internet will do. Learn some basis in your subculture. That way if someone disses your punk rock credentials by telling you that My Chemical Romance isn't within the genre, you can strike back by not only saying you know what punk is, you can list some well known real punk bands like the Ramones, the Misfits, the Sex Pistols, ect. You don't have to listen to them. You just need to know their names. Maybe wear a Misfits band shirt or something. This works with all subcultures.

Step 4

Now it's time to sit back and enjoy what you've spent your allowance in Hot Topic merchandising on. You are now an nonconformist. An individual. You can now call other people herded sheep. But then you realise that you too are a herded sheep. That you've been played by corporations telling you how to be an individual. You realise you belong to not only a herd, but a fake, cliched herd. You now start regretting.

But, there's a problem. You're all grown up now.

Natural Selection

2008-11-09T22:59:00.001-07:00

Kids are going to grow up to be fucking stupid. Natural selection is over, after all. There are no more dangerous toys. Remember when toys where dangerous enough to kill the stupid kids? So there would be no more stupid kids. That, is natural selection of the human variety.

I saw a Tonka toy. All the 80's and 90's kids I know remember Tonka very fondly. Whether it be playing in the dirty or smacking a sibling across the face. But what were they made of? Metal. Now what are they made of. Plastic. Plastic is not Tonka tough you politically correct "concerned parents". Plastic is pussy liberal safe you cunts. Metal too dangerous? If a kid is retarded enough to be killed by a toy dump truck then it's going to be a long childhood.

Oh wait, all the toys are safe. Even trampolines have safety netting's. Half the fun of trampolines is the possibility of death. Now what is there to kill all the dumb kids? What is there to prevent these dipshits from reaching the corporate ladder? The gene pool is dead. Killed by concerned parents who substitute supervision with safe toys.

So fuck child safety. If a kid is dumb enough to be killed by a toy, then that is evolution happening.

Tasted Like Beef

2008-11-06T16:08:00.000-07:00

News

People in life or death situation. People eat other people. Yada yada yada. We've heard this story before. Now, what makes this funny to me is how they have to parade the fact that people "taste like beef".

It's pretty much just like the media going "Hey everybody, your friends taste like beef. Mmm mmm mmmmm.". Now, I like to know what things taste like just as much as anyone else. But really, beef? Not "it was horrible" just "tasted like beef". This smells fishy. I declare sheenanigans.

Obama Rama

2008-11-04T22:12:00.000-07:00

The time came. Obama won, as predicted. Although I have had a level of support for Obama, he has won. Therefore, he is fair game. So, in spirit;

————/´¯')_______
———--/—-/_______
———-/—-/_______
—--/´¯/'--'/´¯`·______
—-/'/--/—-/—--/¨¯\___
--('(—-FU CK¯~/'--')___
—\—OBAMA!—-/___
—-'\'————_-·´___
——\———--(_____
——-\———--_____

The Similarities are Coming Closer.....

2008-11-04T16:42:00.000-07:00

It's election day. I'm not American, therefore I should not give a fuck. But I do. Because I fear the inedible. I don't mind John McCain as much as I did earlier. I still hate Palin. Palin was a mistake. But, Obama frightens me.

With the word "socialist" thrown about (with not much meaning other then it's association with Communism amongst the general public), associations with Stalin and Obama are being spewed up like dog vomit. But generally, it is the association due to socialism. Even though there is a fine line between socialism and communism. Socialism is like greasy food. It's delicious up until the greasy kid who cooked it didn't wash his hands. Then you get diarrhea . Communism is the diarrhea.

But there is one thing that disturbs me about the similarities between Obama and Stalin:

How the supporters display the image of their picture as a holy symbol. Yeah, Obama supporters are batshit insane. Ultranationalist batshit insane. No matter who wins, God help us all.

Calm Your Hormones, No One is Oppressing you

2008-11-03T23:08:00.000-07:00

This following your message is directed to "free thinkers" who believe they are being prosecuted do to their lack of religion: calm your hormones, no one is oppressing you.

Now, I support free thinking. All the way. However, complete atheism is not free thinking. It's an acceptance of leading scientific theories as facts on how the universe and life was created. It's not proof. It's only ahead of creationism because it uses evidence and logic to back it's argument, not just fear or faith. However, complete atheism is not free thinking. It's you sitting there accepting facts, not questioning them. That's not free thinking. Sitting there and wondering if intelligent design exists, that's free thinking. But really, that's my only quiff with atheism on a whole. Now time for the followers.

Atheists can be the biggest douchebags on the face of the planet. Not all, but some. The kind who complain of being discreminating agaisnt when a Jehovah's witness or mormon comes to the door. The ones who use the crusades as an example of why religion as a whole should be outlawed. How they will go out of their way just to try and crush the beliefs of religious followers.

Truth is, no one is really oppressing. 99.9% of Christians do not give a flying fuck if you believe in god or not. So, in the religious spirit I'm using I'll say this: go to hell.

Nevermind Joe the Plumber, Here's Rorschach

2008-11-01T23:36:00.000-06:00

The American election is within a couple of days. Personally, I don't think it is looking good for John McCain. His biggest mistake was the one with a beehive. But that's another story. This story is my opinion on how Rorschach should be a representative of all that is right wing. I find this suggestion fitting considering the events. Not only is the American presidential election upon us, but I am so fucking stoked for the Watchmen movie.

Now, just so you are aware, Rorschach is one of the characters in the graphic novel soon to be turned to a a big budgeted movie, Watchmen. The most awesomist character. Who just happens to be extremely Right Wing. Right Winged enough to take lawful justice and moral justice into his own gloved hands. The hands which just so happen to be around the neck of some rapist or Scientologist (not really, but we can only wish). Yes, I am implying that the person whom would best represent the Republican party would be a fictional killer.

Honestly, the only reason Obama is getting so much attention worldwide, mediawide and supporterwide (nationwide is a given, after all, this year's turnouts could rival American Idol's) is because he appeals to people. He is relatively young, black, asking for change and is impossible to assume with Bush. Forget the political beliefs. It's all about image. Democratic party is being associated with being young and hip and Republican is being associated with being old and wrinkly.

So what better way to make your party look rad then to have a nihilistic, murderous super hero as a public figure head. Forget about the fictional part, really, isn't anyone representing anything fictional in the first place (although, that could be a dilemma for another day)? The only reason they haven't used a comic-book character as a campaign tool is because none have made their political views quite as open as Alan Moore did with Rorschach. Except maybe Alan Moore with Codename V from V for Vendetta, but V was an anarchist terrorist. Which is defiantly not safe for Faux News.

And I seriously think that Rorschach would make the perfect representative to everything Right Wing. Why? Because he didn't just whine about the immorals of society. He killed the immorals of society. That is a lot more fucking awesome then some pastor or Southern politician whining about the atheists or the queers. The closest thing to a real life socially-elite Conservative acting upon their beliefs would be Christians using pipe bombs on abortion clinics. Yawn.

Now, this may make me look nerdy now, but when the Watchmen movie comes out you will all agree. Except, you know, all those offended at the mere mention of politics. But secretly, you will agree with me. That is, if Watchmen isn't a flop like 300. Same director.

Communism is Dead, Let's Keep it That Way

2008-10-31T17:08:00.000-06:00

I dislike it when people wear Che Guevara or hammer and sickle shirts. Especially if they don't know what it means. It's almost as bad as those kids who completely destroyed any meaning to the anarchy sign. But assuming that they do know what that means, and they genuinely believe in communism, then I am slightly disturbed.

Disturbed how people will blissfully ignore the lessons learned in history. Anti-Semitism is an example. Look how the Jewish people are being discriminated against by people using "Jew" as an insult. Blissfully ignoring the 7 million dead Jews as a result of a hatred that they are bringing back up. And another holocaust is unlikely to say the least. But the hate to the Jews is a disturbing reminder that Anti-Semitism has not left the public mind. Now, this isn't about history repeating itself, because it's highly unlikely that another holocaust would happen. Communism is another thing as ideas never really die.

The fall of the Soviet Union and with it come the tales of starvation, mass killings and genocide have arising from the ruble of history. Yet, there are still people who describe their views as communist and proudly display such icons as the hammer and sickle or Che Guevara. And it's just sad that lessons are never learnt. Despite the 100 million dead from it, there are people who think we would be better with it.

Ideally, communism is perfect. The world does not run on ideals though. Hell, even communism is a filthy bi product of complete socialism. But you never run a system that needs complete trust in ideals. Especially when it is not willing to be altered to fit changes and will destroy any possibility of a change. A system that is not willing to evolve will eventually die. Out of the three communist countries, only one is doing well. China. Why is it doing well? Because the Chinese are willing to make changes to the system. Capitalist countries make changes. There is no true capitalist country anymore. America is the closest thing we have left and even it is staring down the barrel of socialism.

Now, this does not mean there should be a red witch hunt. This means that the individuals who choose to describe themselves as communist obviously have no intention on learning from history's mistakes. In short, communism is dead. Let's keep it that way.

Twany-ass Redneck Soft Rock

2008-10-29T16:12:00.001-06:00

Man, I hate country musicians. I sometimes watch CMT just to fill myself with rage. That's how much I hate them. Something about people pretending to be cowboys singing in the most ludicrous accents ever just annoys me. And it's not even country. Country music, as a whole, is dead. What we are replaced with is twangy-ass redneck soft rock. With extra twang.

Now, I've always disliked country. Never has been my cup of tea. But if you turn your radio to "country classics" or something like that, and then turn it to something like "the newest country" you'll hear a huge difference. The first being genuine country western music and the latter being shitty soft rock advertised as country. With twangyness and a phony southern drull. Yeah, I called it phony. I good guess of *9/10 modern "country musicians" fake their accent.

So, if you don't take my word on the musical difference between old, real country and the modern country, just listen to it yourself. With modern country you'll hear 4 extra guitars. No longer the simplicity of a singer with an acoustic, a stringed bass and maybe an electric for rhythm. You now hear a singer with an accoustic with a whole freaking backup band. And the backup band is inter changable. They don't really give them any credit whats so ever like earlier country bands like the Blues Brothers or Johnny Cash and the Tennessee Three (although the genre of Johnny Cash is debatable itself).

But it isn't the actual music that pisses me off about country musicians. No, it's their fakeness. They fake their genre. It isn't country. It's just advertised as country to attract older listeners but add the "other stuff" for a younger listeners. But to actually advertise themselves as country they need to create this really fake redneck/"country folk" image. Really, I bet most of them are from the city. So what do they do? Put on a cowboy hat and adopt a southern drull. And what they sing about is even faker.

The men usually sing about partying or loving America (or alternatively Alberta. Alberta bound, anyone?) and the women usually sing about loving Jesus and being proud rednecks. Now, this generalises the genre too easily. There are probably many other pro-God/pro-America/pro-redneck things to sing about. But these are easily the most common things. Why? Because they want to look cool but don't want to seem like your common yuppie.

Coup Against Paris

2008-10-28T19:26:00.000-06:00

Paris for president

Now, this is supposed to be a witty parody of American politics. Or not. I don't actually know the intent of this video. Maybe it was just a sad attempt at publicity. But it was supposed to be funny. Which I didn't really find funny.

Mostly because it wasn't. The very notion of Paris Hilton being put in any position of power is not funny in the least bit. It's disturbing. It's not funny to hear someone who probably knows nothing of politics talk about what they would do for the country. "Stop the playa hating on the USA"? I just don't see the humor in this at all, it's just another retarded attempt to gain the attention of the public eye. Maybe she should go back to making sex tapes if she wants attention.

And if Paris Hilton ever came in any position of power, I would not just protest. Not just reject. I would lead a bloody coup. I always wanted to an attack to overthrow a government anyways. It's the anarchist in me I guess. Or my hate for Paris Hilton. Either way.

People are Weird

2008-10-27T22:14:00.000-06:00

Do you ever wonder about other people? Are you an isolated enough individual such as myself to even notice let alone care? Do you ever take the time out to just observe people?

For example you are sitting on a bench in a busy mall, Maybe you're waiting for someone. so you just sit there and watch people as they go by. Wondering about their weird little behaviours and habits. For example, all these teens texting on their cell phones.

So you start to wonder, who is it that is so important tat you need to talk to every five minutes? Who is it that is so important that you isolate those around you to communicate with someone who isn't? And isn't this an interesting concept. Technology has granted you the ability to select who you want to talk to at any given moment. Nevermind the person who you're physically with. They're not important enough to not be ignored momentarily whilst you type a message to another with your thumb.

And why people communicate with select people over a course of a day via text messages. Is it necessary? Does everyone who texts religiously have a select few people whom they talk to the most? The person who shares the common grounds by both wishing you were physically with another person.

So, based on the assumption that these religious texters have a select few they text the most (as if they didn't they didn't they would be texting everyone they know), what happens if one person gets bored with talking to another person? Not just vored for a day, but bored in general. Persay if texter #1 finds texter #3 more interesting to talk to then texter #2, so to make time to talk to both texter #3 and #4 (or #5, depends if they're working), they stop talking to texter #2. Did texter #1 just completely kill healthy communication with texter #2? Is this concept harder to deal with from the point of texter #2 then it is from texter #1? If so, does texter #1 even begin to realise the effects of their actions?

Now we get the concept of the select few. So do phone companies. That's why there is top ten plans. but, say that you are an individual similar to myself in that you hardly text. Maybe because you don't have anyone important to text or anyone you do text don't respond as they are busy with their top few. Or maybe you think the whole bloody thing is stupid. No matter the reason, you still don't text religiously like 90% of the young population and don't partake in this trendy form of communicating. Are you missing out? Are you deprived of human communication because the people around you are always texting and you yourself don't have anyone to text?

Now, I didn't want to make this entire thing on texting. It's just that texting is an easy was to observe a complex system of human interaction. Biologists should give animals cell phones so they can view their behaviour via texting. Only problem is animals don't have thumbs. But I guess that's what separates us from the animals. If we are separate, that is.

Fuck gun Control

2008-10-27T15:43:00.000-06:00

News Link

Some kid shot himself in the head at a gun fair with an Uzi. A certified instructor was nearby supervising. Now, this is wrong on so many levels.

An eight year old kid should not be allowed to fire a submachine gun. Evar. The force of the gun made it go upward and the kid could not resist it and didn't know to release the trigger. And the certified instructor should have saw this coming. How did anyone think this was a good idea? How could they expect the kid not only to be able to keep the gun force of the gun under control, but to know to release the trigger.

Now, kids die everyday as a result of the misjudgement and stupidity of adults. It's a fact of life, I can get over it. Now, what I can't get over is how this will most likely be another incident to back gun control and/or the outright banning of guns altogether. And don't get me wrong, I am not a gun-nut who obsesses and memorises and gets pissed off at inaccuracy of movies and video games. Those people are just sad. But I can hold my own with a firearm and do not support gun control or banning firearms.Banning guns can lead to other disturbing scenarios.

First, and most logical from my point, is as soon as a society is unable to defend itself against it's own government, it opens the door to fascism's and all out dictatorships. Next is, if people cannot own and shoot a gun, how are we expected to defend ourselves against the zombies and/or Russians.

Now, I may seem paranoid. Communism is dead. Zombies are scientifically unlikely. But, if Red Dawn or Dawn of the Dead taught us anything, it's to be prepared (fuck Boy Scouts). And when watching Red Dawn I was thinking "fuck yeah, that's totally what I would do if Russians and Cubans invaded my small Colorado town (oh wait)". The worst thing would be having no rifles and be staring down a Russian invasion or a zombie outbreak. Or both. I should make a movie about a Russian invasion during a zombie outbreak (or vise versa). I shall call it Red Dawn of the Dead.

Fuck Pandas

2008-10-25T22:13:00.000-06:00

Despite previous statements, I care about the environment. I just don't care enough about the environment to do anything. And this is why semi-caring people such as myself need people who care enough about the environment to help it. Or else the semi-caring people would have to help the environment, which they are incapable of doing since they are only semi-caring. Therefore, they would no longer be semi-caring, they would be fully caring and then a new generation of semi-caring people would take their place. Confusing yet?

What I want to get to is that even though I don't do anything to help the environment, I am still entitled to criticise those who do. What does this have to do with my opening paragraph? Very little. But this is my blog so fuck you. Now, since I have now granted myself the authority to criticise environmentalists I can now say this: fuck pandas.

Pandas are the single most over rated endangered animals. I would say that they are most over rated animals period, but I disagree. I think penguins are the single most over rated animal (still awesome). But pandas. Fuck them. Why are they endangered? Because they select their diet to bamboo and breed only once in...well, I don't know how often they breed. I am not a panda specialist. If I was I would probably have to kill myself.

Why would being a panda specialist be so bad? Because they are boring. All they do is eat. They don't even walk. They mosey. Mosey! They don't even maul people like all the other bears. Which is another thing that pisses me off. They don't even know if it is a member of the bear family or raccoon family. Last time I checked those were two very distinguishable animals. Which they suck at both. They don't maul people like bears and they don't carry rabies like raccoons.

Really, environmental conservation needs a better mascot. So does China. Yeah, communist China's government's mascot is the gentle panda. Not the fierce dragon anymore. Because nothing screams Marxism like an animal that can't make up it's mind if it's a bear or a raccoon. But I guess the hippies stole Che Guevara.

Guitar Hero IV

2008-10-23T19:21:00.000-06:00

Guitar Hero is a waste of time. Big waste of time. Huge waste of time. But. Lot's of people find it entertaining. So really, if you want to burn your pupils staring at the TV without blinking for hours at a time, who am I to judge? Whatever cranks your shaft. And the shaft that gets cranked the most from guitar could belong to the 16 year old who quit school to play Guitar Hero full time.

However, there are two things that bug me the most about Guitar Hero and I feel the need to get them out of the way.

1)Guitar Hero is not a substitute for real talent
2)Why don't you spend the time learning to play a real instrument?

There, now that me peeves on Guitar Hero in general are out of the way, now I can move on to what pisses me off about Guitar Hero IV.

Drums.

Yeah, pointless meets even more pointless. A note to the developers of Guitar Hero IV: It's called Guitar Hero, you cunt, not Rock Band. And whats with making the drums "as realistic as possible"? There's is a level of realism where you might as well just go out an do it. Which just goes right back to the "Why don't you spend your time learning a real instrument?" argument.

Really, it's a smart move on Guitar Hero's part. The players are recognising that being good at Guitar Hero does not mean you can play guitar. Now, drums are different. Everyone thinks they can play drums. Everyone. Society has this weird fixation on the drums too. Probably because everyone thinks they can play them.

Now, a note to anyone who plays/thinks they can play the drums: if you don't have a sense of rhythm, it's just noise. Which is true to many instruments. But with guitar and bass guitar it's easier to recognise when it sounds like shit. Now with drums the mentality is you are making the right noise, so you must be doing it right. But nothing kills me more then someone who thinks they can play drums. And as I said, if you don't have rhythm it's just noise.

And another reason why drums are a popular fantasizing instrument: the popular idea is that you sit there and beat the shit out of various forms of drums with sticks. No rhythm. No beat. Just violently hitting stuff with sticks thinking you're making music. Now, don't get me wrong. Drums are an important aspect of a conventional band. When they're played right.

Now, Guitar Hero IV will also include vocals and bass aswell, but really, it's just a ripoff of Rock Band. Which isn't great either. It's a good party game, but if you get together with people just to play Rock Band, then that's just sad.

It's the Final Frontier in Music

2008-10-21T16:15:00.000-06:00

Some people said MTV was the final frontier in music. It would revolutionise not only how we enjoy our music, but how we watch our television. In short, it would be the ultimate for of media.

Really, it's been 20 years or so, and what have we got to show for it? A steaming cesspool of teenage culture and corporate garbage. The music was literally taken out of the the music television. In its place, shows that highlight and praise everything that's wrong with our culture. It's the horrors of western society, all in one convenient package. And behold, it didn't just kill the music in it's broadcasting, it killed music. Period.

And call me pretentious to suggest something as bold as mankind's greatest cultural expression to be, well, dead, but it pretty much is. Mainstream music at least, who knows what kind of unsigned and relatively unknown bands could be lurking. But MTV, mainstream media and the record companies killed original and creative music in the public . In it's place it leaves generic and phony bands who's very image is determined and controlled by the record companies.

So here we have record labels and mainstream media outpouring unoriginal and over rated artists. Rappers, pop stars, emo/pop-rock/post-rock bands, solo singers and however you feel to describe the majority of today's music. And you may say "Music styles change, get over it.". But it's not just the style. Does anyone remember when music was about, well, music? When bands had original music, original styles and original ideas. Remember when music was original and before musicians were the bitch of the record labels? No, no one remembers. We are still dwelling in the days of hard rock and early metal. But do you know what we need? We need a third coming of Rock'n'Roll.

And no, this doesn't sound very original, I know. But let's look at the early 70s. Music had a similar problem. Only, instead of overpaid, unoriginal musicians, the music was over excessive. Overly long guitar solos with electronic effects. Basically, it was shit. Like it is now. But shit for a different reason. And shit for a different reason is still shit.

Then came along the Ramones in New York. Their music was fast, raw and full of fury. Basically, the Rock'n'Roll of the 50's, but with more fury and rawness. Long story short, the idea caught on to England. Bands like the Sex Pistols and Clash showed up and paved the way for more bands. Punk was born. Whilst punk was raging across the UK causing civil disobedience, protest and for for once in a long time, a voice to the younger generation of a lower class, more bands started appearing in the United States. Black Flag, Dead Kennedys, and the Misfits just to name a few. All these bands appeared. And all of them had one thing in common, they were all different.

Every punk band who's name we recognise today was original. Each of them added their own aspect to the genre. The genre presented itself with minimum expectations, and the bands added their own image, music styling and views. They were real. Unlike the bullshit that comes out today.

So, what we need, as a society, is a third coming of Rock'n'roll. Which sounds like a cult, but all it means is getting back to the music, away from the corporate bullshit. This is the real final frontier.

Drinking and Voting

2008-10-20T23:00:00.000-06:00

Times Link

So now the authorities are starting to dwell on the question "is it illegal to drink and vote?". It's sad this has even become an issue. Really, who goes out to gets shitfaced just to vote? Is there really any point.

Now, imagine what must be going through the person's mind "okay, should I vote? Or am I going to get wasted? Or should I vote, then get wasted". And then, the perfect medium has become upon the simple minded yob. Drinking then voting. So clever.

Really, what difference does it make if you just so happen to be under the influence whilst submitting your ballet? A choice which was probably made a while ago has been entered. It's the true democratic process happening. With a bit of fun.

But, here's the downfall of democracy, would you really want someone who gets drunk to make a political decision, to have the opportunity to apart of the political process? Didn't think so. Just remember, alcohol and democracy never works. Just look at the Bush administration.

John McCain is What's Wrong With Capitalism

2008-10-18T20:44:00.000-06:00

I don't know if I should say this straight out or not. Everyone seems to have an opinion on the US elections. And I belong to the demographic of everyone. So here it goes: John McCain represents everything that is wrong with capitalism. Tax cuts for the rich, anyone?

And he is. While many of his supporters are your average blue collar worker, he completely ignores that grouping. He implied that Obama was a socialist for wanting to spread around wealth. I would say that McCain is an elitist for wanting to only give tax cuts to the rich. But, how is this whats wrong with capitalism?

I always jokingly compare communism with capitalism by saying "In communism, the government owns everything. In capitalism it's the rich that own everything.". And it's essentially true. The rich control the industry, the rich control the media, and the rich own land. Hell, the rich can even control the government. There is no escape. No matter which system we are in, we are being owned. And what does John McCain want to do? He wants to separate the gap between the common worker and the fat cats even more.

And he says that spreading the wealth around would be a bad thing. How is it a bad thing? Of course it's a bad thing if they want to keep the rich elite in charge. But not all of us want this. And what year is this, 1962? I'm pretty sure using the Red Scare is no longer efficient. And that's what most people associate socialism with too, communism.

And really, a little bit of socialism won't hurt anyone. I'm pretty sure communism is no longer a big enough threat to have our whole system completely fall with the smallest hint of socialism.

I KILL KITTENS

2008-10-17T22:56:00.000-06:00

Ugh, PETA, PETA, PETA, you never learn. PETA's newest campaign is to get people to stop calling fish, "fish", and start calling them "sea kittens". Now, this is a new level of retardation. Just see the link. On their site they have "sea kitten facts" (which conveniently doesn't include the fact they are actually called fish). And they use "Like their cousins, the land kitten.....".

Now, cousin generally means you share the same grandparents (unless, you live in Saskatchewan, then it means your significant other. Yuck yuck, just kidding. But not really, Saskatchewan isn't worth the letters it's spelt with.) . I think it's a safe bet that the common house cat shares no close links with your average fish. So this reeks of fail from that fact. Plus "sea kitten" sounds like an aquatic cat-like predator that will rip apart innocent swimmers. Not something I would want to save.

Now, this website also includes a story book and a make your own sea kitten. I'll start with the story book. It has four stories, all PETA related. I shall summarize them. First being, fish likes to cuddle, OH NOE HE'S ACTUALLY ON A FISH FARM. Second being smart fish going to school, OH NOE SOMEONE EATS HIM AND BECOMES DUMB. Third, fish likes friends, friends get caught, NOW HE'S GOING TO KILL LAND KITTENS. And finally, fish likes friends, friends caught, HE CHASES HIS OWN TAIL!!!! (the most shocking of them all.). I am being serious, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Okay, make your own sea kitten time. Yay! It allows you to make an adorable sea kitten of your own. So, me being the kitten loving person I am, made my own sea kitten. Which I, like a kindergarten student showing his loving parents the macaroni project he made in school, will now show you my sea kitten. Now, judging by my own creation, I will be the judge on whether or not we should save these so called sea kittens.
Holy fuck, this is not adorable at all. Is that a mustache? Never trust a mustached animal. Evar. That's what started the holocaust. I think we should bomb the ocean to make sure there will never be another one of these horrible water winged creatures ever again.

Yes, I just implied that we should bomb the sea kittens. Now, the whole part of this campaign is to make me feel bad for killing something associated with kittens. They just assume I would feel bad about killing a kitten. They don't know me at all.......

Duff's Pointless Campaign.

2008-10-17T22:18:00.001-06:00

"Breaking News" Video

Remember when Hillary Duff was actually relatively famous enough to give a shit about? More importantly, remember when she was relatively famous enough for people to actually be annoyed at her voice? I remember.

Now first of all, since when is a Disney star who lost society's interest 3-4 years ago considered a "big name celebrity"? As the attention span of Disney and it's viewers, Hillary Duff is as good as expired cheese. All she is good for now is Playboy pinups (it's the destiny of every Disney star). And more importantly, since when is a retarded moral campaign she embarks upon considered "breaking news" on CNN's website? Must be a slow day in the world of news.

Anyways, this whole campaign is to go against popular culture's slang words. They want to stop discriminating against the homosexual community by getting teens to feel bad about using the word "gay" in a negative aspect. Now, is it just me, or is this futile? The people who lack the braincells to think of a better word then "gay" to express their feelings really aren't the kind of people who would be concerned about human rights. They are the kinds of people who's hobby is "pwning n00bs " on xBox live.

Now, battling popular usage is never a winning battle. Just read any of George Carlin's books. People are retarded at using words properly, and soon slang becomes popular usage and popular usage becomes official. It's how our language gets confusing. So, to get people to stop saying the word "gay" as a negative word is pretty much useless. And anyways, it's not like "gay" always meant homosexual. It once meant happy. Maybe some of the happy people are mad at the homosexual people for taking their word. You never know.

Now, my last issue of this, could someone please put a bullet through Hillary Duff's head? I hate her voice. It's annoying. It's like that dumb bitch you knew from high school's voice....TIMES A BILLION. That is why this campaign fails already. Good job Hillary Duff.

Homeless Man Kills Students

2008-10-16T22:24:00.000-06:00

CNN link

Well, as much as a tragedy any murder is, this particular murder where a bored homeless man kills a student, well, it shuts people up. Because, frankly, I am tired of older people using "the degeneration of morals amongst the new generation". So basically, I hate hearing these old fucks complain about kids. And the example they always use is "bored kids killing homeless people". Now, it's bored homeless people killing students. Wait, what?

First question that comes to my head is "since when do homeless people get bored?". Homeless people bored. If he was so bored, why didn't he get a job and try not to be homeless. That's my question. Even if he was quite satisfied with being homeless, why didn't he just go do homeless people stuff. Like adopt a loveable stray dog, get a shopping cart with random shit in it with an umbrella over your head or make a witty cardboard sign to get people to give you money. Or drugs.

I am tired of seeing these "need money for food" signs hobos display at a red light. And it's bullshit too. They want it for drugs or booze. You want the loonies in my ashtray, you have to make me laugh. I don't give a damn if you're hungry or have a smack addiction. If you aren't a funny, loveable homeless person, then you are just another waste of my time. Be funny or get a real job. It's the stand up comic's way.

Secondly, who kills people because they're bored. The most psychotic thing I do when I'm bored is go to a Home Hardware or Canadian Tire and make a mental map of which chemicals would make the best bombs. But not kill someone with a grocery bag, that's just crazy.

Penguins on a Plane

2008-10-16T22:08:00.000-06:00

Penguins rescued

I usually don't give a shit about conservation or environmental protection. Know why? Because there will always be people who do. And lazy asses like me depend on outgoing asses like Greenpeace to care about the environment. It's the circle of life.

But when the article about penguins being rescued and flown home on a C-130 Hercules, I just have to say "fuck yeah". Because I have a soft spot for penguins. They truly are God's bird. They can't fly and walk like they are wasted. And yet everyone, including myself, thinks they are the greatest birds ever. That is just awesome.

No Matter How Left you are.....

2008-10-15T10:13:00.000-06:00

Some could describe my political views as Left Wing. I personally prefer the whole "no wing" idea, but really who doesn't. Your going to be labeled no matter what. So, although I don't think of myself as Leftist, I still eagerly criticise the Right side of things. And although I do so, I still will applaud and associate with things often regarded as Right Wing. So, in short, no matter how liberal I can get there are still things conservative things I still like. It's hard not to, it's Alberta. Alberta is the Texas, Montana, and Tennessee of Canada. Saskatchewan is more like Arkansas.

Hating Hippies
I hate hippies. In case you couldn't tell from my 3 or 4 entries on PETA. They are stupid, irrational and generally burnt out. They pick a do-good cause and stick to it, no matter how irrational, inefficient or hopeless it is. It's not that all of these causes are stupid though. Stop poverty, stop war and generic shit like that is actually very noble. But how they go about it. They offer no solutions, they don't do anything besides getting high and making picket signs. They are useless. They are not only the extreme left, but they are the useless extreme left. Society would be better without them. Seriously, trying to stop war with "peace and love"? Bullshit. You want to stop something, do real rallies, not sit-in's. Make petitions, offer solutions. Do anything but sit there stoned out of your bloody mind.

Fuck Yeah, Johnny Cash

Fuck country. Country music sucks ass. Especially lately. I'm not into country music, but I know two things about it 1) Johnny Cash is awesome and 2) country music is dead. Just watching CMT you can tell all that current country artists sing about is "partying", being a proud redneck or "getting rowdy". My God, the last thing we need is 40-something year old men singing how awesome it is to act like your 18. Seriously. Who uses the word "rowdy" anymore? Modern country singers are the biggest posers. Ever.

But Johnny Cash isn't really country. He was more early rock'n'roll or blues. He was the original rebel, the man in black and he shot a man in Reno just to watch him die. Not really, but it's still awesome to sing about. And even if you consider him country, he was still fucking awesome. The Anarchist of the country world, if you will.

Destructive Vehicles

This is my way of saying "Fuck yeah, tanks." Seriously, tanks are the coolest vehicles. Ever, Monster Trucks can go suck a cock. If I could afford a Russian tank, I would buy one in a heart beat.

Supporting Canadian Conservative Party

As far as Canadian political parties go, the Conservative is the lesser evil of the 4 or 5 political parties in Canada. Since Canada is such a liberal country in the first place, the Canadian Conservatives are more like a watered down version of the American Republicans. You know, without too much moral elitism, corporate buttfuckery and God-fearing. Really, Canadian politics is pretty much Liberal or Conservative, voting NDP, Green or Bloc Québécois is futile. And if Canada gets anymore liberal, I'm afraid I might have to call other people "Comrade".

So there, no matter how much I criticise Right Wingers, I still live in Alberta. Plus I criticise both left and right. Call me the Devil's advocate, if you will.

More Sheenanigans

2008-10-14T20:00:00.000-06:00

I hate posting similar entries. Especially in the same day. But People for the Ethnic Treatment of Animals just beg to be commented on. Especially their suggestions for a more "animal friendly world". And another one of their fucked up ideas that creeped out of the cesspool of PETA:

Breast milk ice cream.

If you disregard the fact that milk is probably the least concerning thing in ice cream, the issues in retrieving that much breast milk and how women would be the new cows, PETA has it right. That is fucking awesome.

Good Job, Your Name Now Suits Your Retardation

2008-10-14T14:41:00.000-06:00

CNN:In dissection protest, teen's name is now Cutout Dissection.com

Wow. So, apparently some do-good PETA drone decided to change her name to Cutout Dissection.com to help the "cause". The cause being cutting off part of the educational process by denying students the opportunity for hands-on biology.

In short, the dumb cunt wants there to be no more dissection in schools. So she decided to help raise awareness by changing her name to Cutout Dissection.com. Yeah, Cutout Dissection was not enough, she had to add in the ".com" part. And I know I've done enough shit on PETA by now, but this is too good to pass off.

And some could call her brilliant. People ask her what her name is, it opens it up for her to bitch about the animals. No stop here, it's a straight train to hippysville. Honestly, if I were to ask her about her name, I would just drop any form of communication right there. Wouldn't even let here get going, because I can already tell I would have nothing in common with her. A PETA intern who changed her name to a website URL to protest dissection. Not the kind of person I would want to spend anytime with.

Speaking of changing your name for protests, I might as well do the same. You can call me "Your A. Cuntbag" or "Optimus Prime". Second one isn't really an opinion. It's just awesome.

Fuck Your System

2008-10-10T23:50:00.000-06:00

Fuck your system. Fuck how society works. Fuck everything. Generally, you are born into a family that is doing good financially or bad financially. Even middle class is divided on "working hard to make ends meat" or "doing pretty good". There is no true mediocre. Sure, the closer you are to the middle the easier it is to work up, but that's another story (also see American dream).

So here you are born. Fast forward a few years to school. You either do well in school, or you do bad. Look at school though. It's made up of comprehensive skills. You learn English, math, social and science basically. You listen, you memorise, you apply. No room for new thought, no room for creativity. Who needs new thoughts and creativity, after all? But let's face it, not all of us are good at that random bullshit. So some of us, naturally, do bad at school. It's normal for some of us not to be good at generic school work. It does not mean they are stupid.

And yet, the idea of school is to prepare you for your future career. So the better you do in school, the farther you go, the more money you make and therefore the higher class you have. But what happens to all those people who weren't smart at school? Oh, they must be worthless. Low wages and therefore a lower class. After all, unless you are good at math you are useless to society.

Let us move on in life to the teenage years. Where the rich really manage to pass it on and the poor manage to get left behind more. The general idea of school is the harder you try, the farther you go. You dedicate time to your studies in hope of pursuing your future career. Of course, other things kick into play. Wants. Clothes, cars and electronic trinkets. After all, you want to stay hip. So, unless your parents can give you a car for your 16th birthday, you sacrifice study time to work. Therefore, not trying as hard. Therefore, not being able to further your education. In turn, a poor paying job. Not only do you have to be intelligent in the fields of mathematics, social studies, science and English, you also have to have rich parents or no desire for any product. Ever. Which in the capitalist system we are in, is impossible.

Therefore, the rich stay rich and the poor stay poor. Ah, the class system working beyond a single person's life expectancy. Passed on through genes. It's the system. Love it. Learn it.

Watch Out Guys, Paul McCartney is Angry

2008-10-10T12:25:00.000-06:00

Link

So apparantly "Sir" (fake) Paul McCartney is outraged that a McDonalds in Liverpool put his picture up without his consent. Because everyone should know that he is a vegetarian. Yes Paul, we know it's your time of the month, but asking your fans to boycott the chain is retarded.

But I really do love this. It's like a Christmas present. Someone I hate dearly (whom i have even called my "mortal enemy") has put a hippy jihad on a fast food chain. Two birds with one stone. Not that it will do anything really. It will just make him look like a retard and will mean his little PETA followers can't go to McDonalds. Wow, good job Paul, if that's your real name. Which I know it isn't.

Really, this isn't going to do anything besides provide me with moderate amusement. It's just another celebrity crusade. The only people who really follow Paul McCartney's every word are PETA's little fucktards. All the Beatle fans either 1) Realised what a douche he was and all the other Beatles hated him (*the Beatle equivalent to Johnny Ramone) or 2) Realised that he isn't the real Paul McCartney. Not that I am much of a Beatle fan. I like the Beatles, but I think they are the most over rated music group ever. But I hate how Paul McCartney goes on various PETA crusades. I just hate him and cannot wait till he is on his deathbed and admits he is not the real Paul McCartney. And then PETA will be like "WHY JESUS?!", most people will be like "Oh. My. God." and I will be like "HA! I knew it, you stupid cunts". If he does, that is.

Okay, Paul and his PETA fantards put a hippy jihad on McDonalds. Why do I find this so amusing. Because, not only do I hate the fake Paul McCartney, I also hate McDonalds. Everyone hates McDonalds. Especially the people who work there. But still, people keep on going. It's cheap, it's fast and it's greasy as fuck. It fits all of Western Society's requirements. **It doesn't matter that they make a 0.7$ profit on a 0.99$ burger. Cheap meat filler, anyone? It's gross, it's fattening and it has the good ol' transnational corporate grip on virtually every country. It's the restaurant version of Walmart.

So it really does make my day when two things I hate start to hate each other for stupid reasons.

*Paul McCartney is only equavilent to Johnny Ramone in the fact all the bandmates hated them. Johnny's death wasn't covered up.
**This came from an undetermined source. They could be making more, or less. I hope to God less, because that is just disturbing.

Celebrity Worship

2008-10-09T11:09:00.000-06:00

I find it disturbing that, as a society (society as in Western Civilisation), we choose to worship an elite, wealthy few. And it's not the wealth that makes want people to worship them, you don't see Bill Gates with his own reality show. And it's not the looks either. Look at Paris Hilton. It's exposure to the public via movies, sports or some other random bullshit that makes our half minded society go apeshit for celebrities.

They don't have to be rich first, good lord we all know that the exposure makes them wealthy as flying fuck. But this isn't about celebrities.The last thing we need is another celebrity blogger (more fuel to the fire?). But rather, how our society views these half wits with a shallow personality as human gods. How any moral crusade they go towards is seen as heroic and any ailment they get they are considered courageous. The media pours this bullshit out and we as a society soak it up. It's disgusting to say the least.

And we just sit there. Slaves to the TV. Watching what it says. Raising our kids from it's morals. Or at least letting the kids get raised by it's morals. And the parents. Making Disney's teen stars role model for their kids. Every time Hannah Montana or some High School Musical star does something "morally wrong" that the media catches up to, these parents go on and on about how the "role model" for their kids betrayed them, set a bad example, will be the eventual downfall of society and how they need the good ol' days of the Brady Bunch or Cosby Show. Here's an idea in 3 easy steps:

1)Take your head out of your ass
2)Take some bloody initiative
3) Be your kids own role model

But our society is already beyond redemption. Companies pay the media to give off this wonderful ideal that if you try hard in school, keep your education, work hard and essentially make yourself even more useful, then you'll get payed more. Which in turn means you have a better car, better house and better little electronic trinkets. It's all the same, no matter what class. There's no escape, you still have to work for the fat cats in some ways.

So here we have all these working class, middle class and even partly upper class people watching their TVs day after day waiting for celebrity news. It gives them a moment to pretend they aren't living their boring, repetitive life. To pretend they aren't slaves to the system. To pretend the media isn't feeding them bullshit from the worst pits of humanity. To pretend that nothing is wrong, everything is okay, and you don't need to worry about anything. That you don't need to speak up. You just need to do your job, earn money, and send it back to the industries you work for by buying their products. Like bees pollinating flowers. Everyone wins, especially the rich. It makes it comfortable for us.

We as a society choose to worship celebrities. We worship them for the money they make off of us. After all, they distract us from our miserable lives.

Tim Hortons

2008-10-07T14:33:00.000-06:00

Despite common belief, eating at Tim Horton's does not make you more patriotic towards Canada. No matter what some shitty comedian says, Canada as a nation is not reliant on Tim Horton's. It's just another over rated fast food restaurant with shitty coffee.

I think Canadians are the only people who think they can show their patriotism by going to a bloody coffee and donut shop. It's sad, disturbing and yet another example of good marketing techniques. Much similar to Walmart, it brings out the "Canadian spirit" by making you think you are going to support some Canadian company and the fact that Canada is the only country with Tim Horton's. Except a select few in the United States. Oh, and the fact it's owned by Americans. Not so proudly Canadian now, now is it?

But is it really something to be proud of that Tim Horton's is only big in Canada? Not really. It's only famous here because we're gullible enough to buy into patriotic advertising. Patriotic advertising towards Canada is shit in other countries. And do they really need more coffee vendors in America? With all their Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts, I doubt it. It would just crash, another sign that Tim Horton's is just another coffee and donut store.

So really, Tim Horton's is really just another coffee vendor with greasy ass pastries. Whoopdey shit. We should really move on as a society and pick a new symbol to idolise. Maybe we'll go back to the beaver.

Fags by Association

2008-10-06T14:18:00.000-06:00

The Westboro Baptist Church. If we were to choose one prime example of common ground between religious people and non-religious people, I think it would be the common hate for the Westboro Baptist Church. Atheists hate them because they essentially go against everything they stand for. And Christians hate them, well, because they make them look bad.Westboro Baptist Church is, in short, batshit insane.

These are the people who set up such Jesus-loving websites as God Hates Fags, God Hates America, God Hates Sweden and of course, God Hates Canada. Oh, the originality. I think they should have saved us time by just saying "God hates everyone. Period." Okay, we get it, you guys hate the gays. We could kind of tell by the pickets at gay's funerals saying "AIDS Kills Fags Dead". By why the hate towards Canada, the US and Sweden.

Well, because they find it wrong that these countries have "legalised Homosexuality". I don't know how this works to be honest. Canada and Sweden are pretty liberal countries, so they shouldn't expect us to start lynching gays. But (in their own words) America "crossed the line on June 26, 2003, when the Supreme Court (the conscience of the nation) ruled that we must respect sodomy. WBC believes her gospel message to be this world's last hope". So, when the Supreme Court said that ass-fucking is alright, it was a sign of the end of the world. Wait, what.

Ok, wacky fundy church says they hate America because Supreme Court says buttsecks is a-okay in their books. There are probably lots nut jobs who say the same shit. But, the whatthefuckery doesn't end there. They not only say that god caused 9/11, but that God kills soldiers. Yeah, yeah. We get the whole "God hates everything. Period" theme, but these guys also have the nads to picket US soldiers who die in Iraq and Afghanistan's funerals. Now, you really really really must hate homosexuality if you feel the need to picket soldier's funerals in heartland America.

Now, Fred Phelps, leader of the Westboro Baptist Church, is known for saying the most inappropriate shit at the worst times to preach "God's word". Such as saying it was God who struck down the WTC towers a whole 3 days after 9/11. Classy as always Mr.Phelps.

But it may just seem a bit pretentious to judge the morals of the career choices of those who just died for your safety. So why hate soldiers and broadcast to their families that God struck them down? Well, because they were in the military to defend a country who's supreme court no longer condemns homosexuality. So, not only do they hate America for associating itself with gays, they hate soldiers for defending America and hate America because it associates itself with gays and they hate gays. So I see we are playing the "Fags by Association" game. Two of us can play this game though, Mr.Phelps.

So according to the Westboro Baptist Church's logic, anything associated with anything associated with anything gay, is gay itself. So, the poster board they bought from Walmart to make those signs was made in China, and China is communist, and communists are atheists. And to make the poster board they had to use trees shipped from Brazil, Brazil as in the country that the homosexual hairdresser named En Rico is from. So by association, Fred Phelps is a Communist, atheist, and a homosexual hairdresser from Brazil. Oh, got you there Mr.Phelps. Or should I say Comrade Phelps.

Walmart: As American as Apple Pie

2008-10-03T15:06:00.000-06:00

I hate Walmart. With a passion. More importantly, I hate their advertising campaigns. The ones you see with an American flag flowing saying some generic shit like "Walmart, making American's lives easier" or some random bullshit like that. Or here in Canada, "Walmart, serving Canadians". Well, yeah, I defiantly hope your serving people, therefore the eyesore that is your store isn't there just to take up space.

But Walmart's very demographic is led astray. The people going in there think they are going into a freedom loving store to buy high quality American goods for affordable prices. Basically, Walmart is as American as apple pie. Or baseball.Or some other random shit Americans affectionate to show their patriotism.

And really, whats not American about Walmart. Oh wait, the fact it destroys the small family run businesses to sell their shitty products made from (practically) slave labour in Communist China. Which are full of lead. Good job Walmart, not only did you bring revenue to the Reds, you also poisoned the next generation of your mindless consumers.

Not that it's going to stop them. As I just said, Americans are mindless consumers. They buy their children toys to substitute for their love, they buy clothes to substitute for self-esteem, and buy electronic devices to substitute for happiness. And it's not just America, it's western civilisation in general. It's the capitalist way, to put a bunch of products that make life more comfortable to encourage you to work harder.

"The Man" uses the promise of a comfortable life to encourage you to settle down, work hard and stop thinking against it. Now that is the American way.

PETA Can Go Suck It

2008-10-02T14:06:00.000-06:00

Every time I go on PETA's website, it makes me want to kill an animal. Not because I have any dislike of animals. I love animals. Especially with a side of gravy. But PETA has this effect that makes one just want to snap the neck of a baby seal just in spite. Yeah, I would kill a baby seal just to piss them off, that's how much I hate them.

And that's a lot of trouble to go through just to undermine someones ideologies, so it really says something. But the whole "meat is murder" thing is just bullshit. Meat isn't murder, it's delicious. Meat is food, food is food. You need food, it's the primary part of any meal. Granted, I am not going to criticise someone for being vegetarian. If they don't want to eat meat, then fuck them, more for everyone else.

But to bitch to people to change their diet is pretty ignorant. Most people enjoy eating meat, so fuck off and let them be. Therefore, let all PETA's little protesters just go suck it. The meat industry isn't going to be brought down just by a bunch of hippy fucktards with picket signs with pictures of piglets on them. Neither is the fast food industry.

Speaking of fast food industry, what is the point of vegetarians boycotting KFC? "Okay guys, we are going to bring this fucker down. No one here eat at KFC". Seriously, I am pretty sure that KFC doesn't apply to the vegetarian demographic. What are people who don't eat chicken going to get at KFC? Mashed 'taters and soggy-ass french fries. Yeah, do these people even think.

Plus they make no sense at all. Animals eat other animals, so why can't we. If we stop eating meat, what will we do with all the farm animals? Release them in the wild and let yet another alien species into a native habitat. And don't give me the "land already cleared for farms". Because seriously, if we stopped eating meat we would probably just use the ranch-land for crops. Nice going fuckheads. Plus land being used for ranching can support some wildlife, more land for crops can't, with all the fertilizer and pesticide.Why does it seem like they are constantly undermining their own purpose. "Stop the Canadian seal hunt so all the seals can starve instead".

And is it just me, or are all their campaigns stupid as hell. "Jesus was a vegetarian". Bullshit he was! It clearly says in the bible he ate fish. "Meat causes impotence". People have been eating meat for thousands of years and we still are around. Plus no one with a penis is actually a vegetarian. And then they give a bunch of other famous "historical" vegetarians. http://www.peta.org/AutomatedCards/CardFiles/Pages/PreviewFlash.asp?CardID=veg48 Since when is Madonna a historical figure? And Shania Twain? What kind of country singer is vegetarian. That's like a hippy burning a cross. And Paul McCartney; my mortal enemy.

When I say mortal enemy, I mean Paul McCartney is the biggest cunt bag in history. The fake Paul McCartney. The real Paul McCartney died years ago in a car crash (it's not just another crazy conspiracy theory, see http://homepages.tesco.net/harbfamily/opd/index.html ). 376 documented clues that the real Paul McCartney is dead and they covered it up. You can't ignore that. Therefore, the new Paul McCartney is a total douchebag. He sold the publishing rights to 100 of their songs to Michael Jackson. All the other Beatles hated him. Yeah, no such a vege hero now, now is he? Oh and they forgot to mention another famous historical figure, Adolf Hitler. Instead of killing helpless animals by eating them, he killed 7 million Jews. What's that, a campaign of my own "Don't Eat Meat and You'll Cause Genocide". That's PETA: 0 ME: 2.

Seriously, eat whatever the fuck you want to, don't do what (fake) Paul McCartney tells you to and if you see a PETA member protesting ANYTHING, even if it's a just cause. bitch slap them.

Blogs Suck Ass

2008-10-01T21:47:00.000-06:00

I dislike personal blogs. Ones that are written about the writer's life. It just seems too bloody pretentious to just assume that, unless you are someone of significance, that anyone would be interested to read on about the numbness of your daily life.

I mean, just hitting that "next blog" icon at the navigator bar will take you to a random blog. And 9/10 of them suck ass. Why? Because they are all too dedicated to either a single, narrow subject or to personal lives. No one gives a shit if you took a picture of a bloody moose today.

Which will take me to my next point, photography is hardly an art. Unless you do shit with shadows that actually makes it look like an effort to take, then it's just a picture. It's not artsy, it does not make you look deep. It makes you look like a retard. Therefore no one gives a fuck and you are just wasting people's time assuming they want to see the pictures of your family vacation. Family vacation brings me to my next irk with the "blogosphere".

No one (outside of friends and relatives) gives a flying fuck about your family or the shitty family portraits of them you take. No one cares about the shitty drawings your kid does. Maddox already proved that kids are shitty artists anyways http://http//www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=irule so you've already lost. That and the fact no one cares. At all. Whenever I see a family blog it reminds me of what a barren, lonely piece of the Internet we are at.

A lot of people could point out annoyances they have with this blog, but they can go suck a cock because at least I put out an effort to make my opinion somewhat funny. Fucking pretentious bastards.

Che Guevara

2008-10-01T17:11:00.000-06:00

As you may have known, I previously stated that Che Guevara was a revolutionary hero. He was, to the red's at least. Therefore, since I am not a commie, I will not feel like a hypocrite when I say that people who wear Che Guevara shirts are complete and utter douchebags.

No, not the ones who actually believe Leninist ideals. But they still get bonus points in hypocrisy. No, this goes out to all the scenester cuntbags who try to look cool and individualistic by wearing a Che Guevara shirt they bought from Hot Topic. Especially when they have no freaking clue on who he was or what he did. Plus it demeans it's own purpose. What better way to support Communism then to wear a shirt you about from a big name store AKA Capitalism. Only three kinds of people wear Che Guevara shirts: Commies, hippies, and scenesters.

On the communist side, what better way to broadcast your ideologies then to support the rivaling ideology. Oh, the hypocrisy. As for the hippies, what better way to say 'fuck the government" then show your support for a system that is all government. And finally, scenesters, I have no words to describe them. Everyone knows one. They are the kind of person who describes their musical taste as "a little bit of everything" and then will listen to obscure bands to make themselves feel cooler and above everyone else. Now you know exactly one kind of person I'm talking about.

Seriously, you douchebags have made anything to do with Che Guevara go from symbolic to just retarded.

You're Not Going to Art School

2008-10-01T14:29:00.000-06:00

I like crushing dreams. So here I go. You suck at drawing, drawing is a relatively useless skill, and you are not going to art school so you can stop posting your shitty fan art on DeviantArt. There, 90% of the internet's dreams were just destroyed in under a minute.

Palin's Amazing Foreign Policy Experience

2008-10-01T13:52:00.000-06:00

I don't like American politics. I usually don't follow American politics, but all the world attention to Obama and 8 years of George Bush has made it hard not to pay some attention. I support Obama, I hope he wins. Mostly because I hate McCain and I really hate Palin.

Fuck Sarah Palin. She is batshit insane not to mention a total dipshit. She follows every single one of the Republicans God-orientated beliefs. Who the hell uses a Yahoo account to do state business? Would Americans really want someone like that running their country? I know, it's only Vice President, but let's face it, McCain is going to croak. Granted, Obama will probably be a target to White Supremest and Skinhead groups, so really, Americans are voting for the Vice Presidents.

But I am really getting away from myself. How is living in between a practically uninhabited part of the Canadian Arctic and a practically uninhabited part of the Russian arctic considered "foreign policy experience". That's like some kid who used to cut grass for his elderly neighbour putting down "landscape engineer" on his resume. Seriously, I don't get this woman. Not only does she turn every political debate into one of her folksy hockey-mom stories, she tries to use Alaska's position as foreign policy experience. Did she ever talk to any Russians whilst governing Alaska? Or Canadians? And why can I see her answering any question that involves foreign affairs with Canada, Russia or both with a hockey story. "Well, I know that Canadians are big on hockey, and so are the Russians, therefore we will moderate the Arctic sovereignty issue with a giant hockey game, Hur hur hur."

Really though, we should face it, McCain will probably win. Why? Two reasons. One, a large amount of Americans are racists. Significant even. They may not attend cross burnings, but secretly, they hate black people. And two, they can't get over Obama's lack of experience to see that McCain has a lack of judgement. But even if Obama does get elected, sadly, he will probably get assasinated.

You can quote me on that.

An Ode to Douchebags

2008-09-30T22:52:00.000-06:00

I hate how men now are practically encouraged to be sensitive nowadays. Which isn't exactly all that bad, a little sensitivity here and there could prevent a lot of disorders in the long run. Problem is, the male population isn't very sensitive in general. Which is unfortunate for society's "new acceptance".

Face it. Men are bad at being sensitive. And even worse at pretending. Playing an acoustic guitar underneath a tree does not make you a sensitive musician. It makes you a douche bag. Pretending to know about the world's problems but having no idea does not make you politically aware. It makes you a douche bag. Describing your musical tastes as "a little bit of everything" does not make you musically inclined. It makes you a douche bag.

My biggest pet peeve. Atheist douche bags. Yeah, we get it, you don't have a religion. Whoopdey shit. That does not mean you should pretend to know science, it does not mean mid-America is oppressing you and most of all it does not mean everyone around you needs to be atheist too. I could go on about the same peeves about other religions, but I don't, as there is a certain level of smugness some people give off when bitching to some Christian charity about there being no God.

But I suppose this could be the smallest yet loudest group within the atheist demographic. Yet, one thing even worse. Christians who try to use made up science to argue against the theory of evolution. You cannot disprove evolution by saying "there is still monkeys". That is wrong on so many levels. Don't make up "facts". Dinosaur bones are not demon bones from a war between God and Satan.

I don't know whats worse, Christians that make up facts or Atheists who quote the bible to try to disprove it.

V for Vendetta

2008-09-28T13:22:00.000-06:00

Everyone loves the movie V for Vendetta. Ever since it was released in 2006, it was embraced with open arms. Internet group Anonymous (or at least the "protest fags") even adopted the Guy Fawkes mask during the Scientology Protests. Now, it's 2008, so why am I just writing about it now? Because, not too long ago I finished reading the book. Er, comic book. But it was still intelligently written.

I'm not going to lie, the movie was pretty effing sweet. Problem is, it didn't use the whole Anarchism vs. Fascism theme. Yeah, I am complaining that the movie didn't make you think (because thinking is the writer's job). Seriously, the movie just basically plain out stated "Okay, V is good guy, the other side is Fascist monsters and V is blowing up shit for freedom". I think the most notable reference to anarchy in the whole movie was the armed robber shooting the gun in the air and saying "Anarchy in the UK" (hark, a Sex Pistols reference?).

The thing I liked about the book is the fact it made you think though. It presented you with the two complete opposite sides of thinking, Anarchy or Fascism. It doesn't really favour either side (besides the fact that eventually Anarchy prevails and most of the Fascists are killed or stripped of power) and eventually presents the Freedom of Anarchy or the Order of Fascism. It actual gave the fascist characters a more human image as opposed to generic Hollywood villains. And it doesn't give V a set image. It was up to the reader on whether he was a revolutionary hero or a chaotic terrorist.

But I can see why the directors and writers of the movie script went away from the original theme. People don't like to think. They like to watch violence. Especially when that violence is for the sake of freedom. But really, the only true freedom can be found in Anarchy.

I Like Cats

2008-09-27T17:38:00.000-06:00

I like cats. There, I said it. No other straight man will come out and say they like cats. Why? I don't honestly know. Maybe some comedian said something about every man having to hate cats (just like how we can't stop and ask for directions because some comedian mentioned it once upon a time). But now, hating cats is just another way of reassuring one's masculinity. Just like bashing gays.

But homophobia is somewhat understandable (yeah, I said it's understandable, you fucking political correct drones) as being openly gay has been somewhat of a social taboo for how many years, there is some cause of discomfort. But cats. Seriously, what is wrong with cats? Yeah, I know "Dog is man's best friend", but can't cats be man's drinking buddy at least? What have cats ever done to you?

I like cats. I have no reason not to like cats. So up yours expected gender roles, I'm going to go do the dishes.

Congratulation, You're a Corporate Tool.

2008-09-26T21:24:00.000-06:00

Congratulation to all those people who parade brand logos for being complete tools. And no, it's not just all those people who'll wear a t-shirt with a brand name written across. Or even the even the pants and jackets. If people want to be walking billboards for over rated brands, that's their own choice, I"m not hear to judge people's sense of fashion. No, this entry is for all those tools who display various logo's such as DC or Billabong by spray painting them on bloody walls and and putting a bloody decal on the back of their vehicle windows.

Although, a question arises "it's all advertising, what difference does it make if it's on your shirt or on the rear window of your truck?". Okay, you go in a mall, you go into a store and pay extra for a certain brand of clothing, you would expect some recognition of you buying that specific brand. BAM. There's your logo. The advertising is just a bonus for them. BUT, why the hell would you parade a logo on the back of your vehicle? You are just advertising for a company, it's not like it's some witty or creative design. It's a reminder of what a materialistic society we are.

But really, sporting a logo across your back window is also a personal choice i suppose. If you go moist for Vans and you want everyone on the freeway that you pass to know, then whatever. But what kind of person spray paints corporate logos on brick walls? No one knows you did it (except maybe who ever saw you, but that's another story), so it's not you who will be associated with that product. It's the wall. So really, all you are doing is saving some company thousands of dollars in advertising. Chances are a lot of these brands spend hardly any money in advertising, a magazine page here, a magazine page there, and the rest is done by you corporate tools.

I am getting away from the point I want to make. In Cuba and other Caribbean countries and Latin American countries they spray paint murals of Che Guevara. I'm no commie, but somehow a mural of a revolutionist is somewhat inspiring. Now, here in Canada and the United States, it's a crude "DC" on the side of a building. Not so inspiring. Some could see it as a contrast between Communism and it's heroes and Capitalism and it's, er, shoes.

Introducing the Shocking

2008-09-16T21:15:00.000-06:00

"We're really quite nice and friendly, but everyone has a beastly side to them, don't they?"- Sid Vicious

Introducing myself, you can refer to me as Matt. Generally speaking, I enjoy critiquing society in general, but don't quote me on that. I really dislike limiting myself out of fear of contradicting myself. Or vise versa.

Regardless, I have an opinion to give on pretty much everything. No matter how vulgar, offensive or obscenely shocking it is. Hence the creation of this blog.

In short, hello.